I've always relied on the kindness of strangers . . .

A couple of friends joined me for margaritas last night and we got to talking about "the kindness of strangers". My housemate told a great story about how, while in Germany, a couple literally took her and a friend into their home and took care of them one New Years Eve. I spoke of hitch-hiking through Ireland and how I met lots of strangers who were full of kind surprises - two who even stopped to buy my companions and me ice cream.

Then I wondered out loud why it seemed somehow more common that people were kind abroad. I realized that's not really true either because I have been helped countless times by strangers . . . mostly to help change a tire when I've been on a road trip (not to worry Daddy, I do know how to change my tire by myself). Americans are extremely generous - especially with their money. After the 9/11 attack, or the tsunami, or even way back to "Live Aid" Americans willingly part with the green in their wallets. Yet are we as generous when it comes to helping in a personal way? I'm not saying regular volunteering or that kind of thing - I'm speaking of when you encounter a person in need out of the blue, do you stop to ask if they need help? It feels as if reaching out that way is dangerous.

I think of this past Thanksgiving. I asked out loud, after an incredible meal with family and friends, "What are we going to do with all this left-over food?" Instantly there was a knock on the door. Somebody opened it and a homeless man was on the other side. I watched as the gut reaction of most of us took over - he's not to be trusted. Yet as the door began to close on him, I took the risk and shouted "Does he want some food?!" Of course he did. As I began to stuff plastic cups and baggies full of food, I looked around and saw many faces still worried about helping this man. Will he wait outside and assault us as we leave? Will he come back for more than food? I completely understand this way of thinking - I often think that way myself - but why are we so afraid? Do statistics tell us that by helping we end up being victimized? The man we fed that night was so grateful for the feast he had tears in his eyes as he thanked us. It felt SO GOOD helping him - not at all scary. When I think about all the times I've been helped, I smile with gratitude that those folks took the risk to help me. And when we help or are helped, we not only have the good feeling, but a great story to tell.

I think of how this marathon helps so many strangers. I can personalize it because I know people who are living with HIV and benefiting from the Whitman-Walker Clinic services. How can you personalize it? Well, you're reading this and that's a start. You can make a donation on my behalf. But if you want to risk big and live dangerously, why not come out and volunteer for me? Spend one Saturday getting to know some strangers by handing out water to all the runners. Bring a chair and a book - but don't count on reading any of it because I'm sure you'll find the other volunteers to be fascinating strangers worth talking with! Your time is counted as money for my fundraising and you can actually touch the lives of lots of strangers in a personal way. And think of the stories you will be able to tell.

Though you're not strangers, I'm relying on your kindness!

www.aidsmarathon.com (runner #3063)