Thursday, December 27, 2007

The Mother of All Updates (Installment #3 - Crappy Birthday)

So . . . this birthday was a BIG birthday for me. Years ago I had vowed I would have a huge party and, if not yet married, go ahead and register for all the cool stuff one should have even if one doesn't get married.

Needless to say, it didn't happen. Any of it.

Here is how I spent my 40th birthday and the days following:

I woke up at 3 AM (yes, THREE IN THE MORNING) to get ready for my 6 AM flight to Chicago - the first of four legs to Laramie, Wyoming for my on-campus interview there.

At 4 AM, as I was gathering my phone to pack, I noticed I had a message in my voicemail. I listened to it, and lo and behold, my flight to Chicago was canceled due to weather and I needed to call United to rebook my sequence. So I made the necessary arrangements and called my contact at the school to inform her of the change. My new flight was scheduled to leave for Chicago at 11:30 AM.

Rather than going back to bed, I informed my pet-sitter I was delayed and took Zoe for a walk myself, then spent my free time leisurely finishing my last minute packing for my trip.

I left for the airport a little after 10 AM, arrived, checked my bag, and proceeded to my gate.As I flipped through a magazine while waiting for the boarding to begin, a voice comes over the loudspeaker explaining there was a delay in the flight due to mechanical issues. Oh dear. At least my connection in Chicago wasn't until 2:45 so I had plenty of time.

I managed to chat with my sister for a bit and figured that since I packed my phone charger in my checked luggage, I should keep the phone off much of the time. Finally, we boarded at 12:30. I still wasn't worried because I knew I'd have about an hour before my connecting flight left Chicago.

When I landed in Chicago, I proceeded to the departure screen to check on my gate and flight status. I looked up and saw that my flight had an assigned gate, but was now not scheduled to take off until 5:15! WHAT?! Uh oh. So off I went to speak to an agent about yet another flight out of Denver to Cheyenne. I booked the LAST flight out of Denver and called my contact in Wyoming. She took my information and said to stay in touch. I shut the phone off again to keep from wasting the battery and tried to stay busy until 5:15. Not an easy task. Though O'Hare offers "free wifi", you need to subscribe to connect with their system. SO, here it was, my birthday, and I was stuck at O'Hare with no phone or e-mail contact with friends and family. Bummer. At least I had my iPod. I finally got so bored I PAID for 15 minutes of Internet service at a little kiosk . . . just enough time to check new messages and send two.

I listened to some music and finished my magazine . . . even did some prep work for the next day's series of interviews and teaching . . . and ate some lunch knowing I would only be getting peanuts on the flight to Denver.

I checked the board again, and 5:15 had become 5:45 . . . then 6:15. SIGH. We FINALLY boarded a little after 6:30 PM. By this time, I had been up for 15.5 hours and I still had TWO legs to go before my final destination!

The flight to Denver was crowded, and I was in the center seat of a five seat middle section . . . but was surprised to take off with nobody sitting directly next to me. Sheer luck. However, due to nerves, I was unable to get any sleep. I watched a little "TV" and then listened to some more music and read the airliner's magazine.

We touched down in Denver about 8:00 local time and I proceeded to the departure screen again to find out about my connection to Cheyenne. Miracle of miracles - it was on time! So I grabbed some dinner to go and headed to my new gate. If you have ever been to the Denver airport, you wouldn't be surprised that my walk to my new gate took about half an hour! That airport is HUGE and of course I was taking a tiny commuter plane located in the terminal on the very edge of the airport.

When I arrived at my gate, I checked that all was well with my flight and once again turned on my phone. I had a ton of messages and decided I could spare listening to them - good thing, too, because my mailbox was FULL (my fabulous friends' & family's birthday wishes mostly). As I listened, I deleted. I then called my contact in Laramie to let her know I was due in Cheyenne on time at 10:30 PM. That's when she informed me that the roads from Laramie to Cheyenne were closed and that nobody was going to be able to pick me up! I was going to have to spend the night in Cheyenne and hope that the roads were clear early in the morning. We chatted and decided they would book me in a hotel in Cheyenne that had a shuttle and she would call me with the confirmation information. In the meantime, she wondered if I could look into flights into Laramie from Cheyenne just in case that made more sense. So I made a few phone calls and discovered it wouldn't help to fly there as I would have to fly BACK to Denver to fly into Laramie. When she called back, I relayed this information to her and she said she would call me early in the morning with the plans for getting to Laramie. In the meantime, the hotel shuttle doesn't run after 10 PM in Cheyenne so I was going to need to call the hotel upon my arrival and they would send a taxi instead. CRAZY!

By this time, my phone battery is very low, so I again power it down and wait for my flight. It's finally time to board and the wind is whipping snow around us as we walk what felt like a mile to the tin can with wings. Seriously. Except for the plane I jumped OUT of, it was the smallest plane I've ever been on.

The flight to Cheyenne was short, VERY bumpy, but not too miserable because I was sitting by a real character with a smart mouth. I laughed most of the way there.

We landed, and I watched as the baggage handlers took ONE suitcase off the plane and onto the baggage cart. I laughed a little more because it seemed absurd my bag would be the only one on board.

We made our way across the frozen tarmac to the airport and the baggage conveyor belt was already moving. One bag was moving towards the center on it . . . but it wasn't mine and it another man took it off and departed. Then the belt STOPPED.

I had no bag.

I had no change of clothes for my interview, no charger for my phone, and no toiletries.

I burst out laughing 'cause otherwise I would cry. Surely the universe was playing a practical joke on me!

I walked over to the counter and asked the young man (I swear he was a high-schooler) if any more bags had been on the plane. "Nope," was my answer. He asked me if I was supposed to be on an earlier flight and I said yes, so he checked in the back room for it. Still no bag. "Where are you staying?" he asked and I replied, "the Holiday Inn, but I'm leaving for Laramie early in the morning for a job interview." "Oh no," was my reply. Apparently, the first plane out of Denver to Cheyenne doesn't arrive until 9:30 AM! He then asked how he could reach me, but of course my cell phone was dying so I gave him my contact at the University and he said he'd call when it arrived in Cheyenne.

With the last of my cell phone juice, I called the Holiday Inn to order my taxi. They said it would be right there and I should wait by the double doors. I thanked the man, hung up, and waited. And waited. The airport was closing down around me . . . lights were going off and it was finally just me and the young man. He asked if I had a ride coming and I told him the setup, but this nice fella, "just in case" called me another cab.

My cab finally arrived and slowed down in front of the double doors . . . but didn't stop! I ran out of the airport as he was driving away, yelling "HEY!" after him. Just as he was about to exit (it's a very small airport) he heard me, stopped, and backed up to me. I go into the cab and we were off, bag less, to the Holiday Inn. Upon my arrival, I called my contact one last time to let her know her cell phone was the number for the airport to contact her regarding my bag. At least she knew my bag hadn't arrived now, too.

And, 20 hours after I woke up on my 40th birthday, I fell into bed.

Of course, the next morning I was awake by 6:30 and my contact called me by 7:00. I was picked up at 7:30 . . . wearing the same clothes . . . and off to breakfast with several faculty. I'm happy to say I had some sympathy regarding my previous day and missing bag . . . and breakfast was casual and fun (the car ride to Laramie was a bit more intense - I was "interviewed" the whole way).

Then I was off to teach back-to-back workshops in front of most of the faculty and meet with the Department Chair (fortunately, a man I had worked with professionally and liked very much). In my interview, I let it slip the day before had been my birthday (his was the coming Sunday) and was surprised and touched by his reaction. After my interview with him, I was brought to my hotel for about an hour's rest (I spent it online in the "business room") and then I was off to meet the Dean. I met with him (a strange meeting, I will say, as he did most of the talking) and then the Department Chair drove me around Laramie so I could get a feel for the town. He was very candid about cost of living, et al, but I sensed from him I was his first choice for the job (I was the last candidate to be interviewed). Then it was off to coffee with the design faculty and then off to a "happy hour" at the Department Chair's home.

When everybody finally went home, I spent about a half hour with two more faculty members "chatting" and then I was driven back to my hotel. It dawned on me, as I arrived at the hotel, that I hadn't had lunch or really even any dinner (I nibbled some appetizer-type things at the happy hour). However, I was too exhausted to do anything about it, so I went up to my room to, once again, fall into bed. Still no bag though!

The next morning, after sleeping in a little and getting some hotel breakfast, I showered and put on my suit for the THIRD DAY IN A ROW. Yuck. I then waited for my ride back to Cheyenne to start my way home.

The ride to the airport was fairly quiet and I couldn't decide if that was good or bad, but at this point was really too tired to care. I got to the airport and asked for my bag. Sure enough, it was there and the guy behind the counter asked if he should just check it. I said, "After I change my clothes you can have it back," and I went straight to the ladies room to put on clean clothes and freshen up. At the same time, I removed my chargers for my phone and laptop, and threw my teaching papers, etc. into my suitcase.

I returned to the counter, checked my bag, and was informed the flight was delayed. Big f*cking surprise.

So, I plugged in my phone and computer and enjoyed my myriad of birthday messages while I waited for the plane. We took off and I can gladly say the rest of the trip was uneventful . . . until I got back home.

I stood in front of the baggage claim with the rest of the passengers and waited patiently for my bag as the snow began to fall outside. One by one, the others picked up their bags and left until I was standing there was one other man . . . and the conveyor belt stopped.

No bag.

AGAIN.

And the airport was once again closing up for the night. I waited by the counter with this other gentleman for about 40 minutes when I finally CALLED the airline from my cell to start a delayed baggage claim. Eventually an airport representative showed up at the counter and I dealt with her instead. I wasn't convinced I would ever see my bag again at this point . . . but got into my car and as I was driving home noticed the Chinese place was still open so I stopped for some food because naturally I was famished. I got it to go and finally pulled into my driveway about midnight.

I ate my "birthday dinner" and drank a glass of wine with the company of Cats and Jammer and finally crashed about 1 AM.

What a crazy three days.

The next morning I called to check on the status of my bag and ended up having to speak to another representative because I never got a claim number. UGH. I finally got that and was told they couldn't find my bag. What? I had just been told the night before it had been scanned at O'Hare. SIGH. My hopes of seeing the bag (with my expensive suit and skirt, my running shoes and teaching stuff all in it) were dashed some more and it was compounded by the fact that the snow was really coming down now. I didn't think any flights would be landing at our small airport anyway, so I released myself of the bag worry and focused instead on the audition I had later that day.

Yeah, I was once again auditioning for ISF - this time for the roles of Kate in Shrew and Tamora in Titus. I was ready, but of course a bit nervous. I left VERY early due to the snow and the fact that my put together picture/resumes were in my damn bag. I got to campus, put my stuff together, rehearsed my pieces a few times, and then was off to wait my turn. It was a small group auditioning this day as most had auditioned in NY, Chicago, or St. Louis. Finally it was my turn and I thought I gave a really strong audition. I was coached once, people laughed, and I was outta there.

My insane week was FINALLY over - or WAS IT? No . . . I had to get my grades in and prepare for the 19 hour drive to New England with the two cats and dog.

Fortunately, Sunday night, my bag was delivered so I could unpack, do laundry, and pack again. I spent the next day grading, doing laundry, and cleaning and left the house for my LONG trip home at 6 PM Monday night.

Around 2 AM the next morning, the animals and I were toast and we stopped somewhere in eastern Ohio, near Wheeling, WV. After I settled the animals down, I went to sleep for what turned out to be a very short nap because one of my cats managed to crawl into the box spring of the bed and couldn't find her way out. She woke me up around 5:30 AM "stuttering" (she doesn't meow) and I spent the next 15 minutes fishing her out. I finally succeeded and foolishly tried to go back to sleep but by this time the dog and other cat were wide awake and ready for breakfast. Damn it.

So I gave in, got up, fed them and walked the dog and went to the lobby for my free breakfast. I ate my oatmeal, drank my coffee and returned to my room. I showered quickly, packed the car, and packed the animals back up for the last long day of the trip.

Long it was . . . over 12 hours . . . cats crying, the dog pawing me, and bad traffic when I finally reached my parents' home town. When I was about an hour away, my dear old dad called and asked if I wanted the wine to breathe, so you can imagine what was waiting for me at the end of my drive. I was thrilled to finally drive into the driveway, release the animals, unpack the car, and enjoy the first glass of wine of my vacation.

Since arriving, I haven't heard from Wyoming or ISF . . . and though Wyoming tells me they are still in the process, I am no longer convinced I am their first pick. I do know, that I won't be hearing from ISF. The Fight Guy was nice enough, AGAIN, to be the bearer of bad news and tell me the roles went to somebody else.

All I can say is it is ISF's loss.

And my gain, because it means I will be outta the WASTELAND by May 31st. And that's the BEST birthday present of my 40th birthday I can imagine.

Crappy Birthday to me! :)

Saturday, December 22, 2007

The Mother of All Updates (Installment #2 - Turkey Break and The Naked Show)

So PhD has been pestering me to update and to be fair, I finally "published" installment one a few minutes ago even though I wrote it ages ago. So here we go for #2 and perhaps #3 as well.

It is now December 22 and I am sitting at my father's desk, waiting for family to arrive for the holidays, and enjoying the last remnants of peace and quiet before the masses descend upon us.

Anyway, Turkey Break and The Naked Show are the topics of this installment and I guess I should get to it!

Well, the day after returning home from Jamaica (relieved and a little wealthier, thank you very much), I returned to my Alexander class and had lunch with Coach P. at a sweet little Thai place in town. It was fun to catch up with Coach and hear all the latest . . . now that we weren't running together, I had to hear the news. After lunch, I heard from some friends in Chicago who decided to join me for Turkey Day . . . so I was off like a crazy lady cleaning and grocery shopping for the big feast. I also got a call for a phone interview at Wyoming! FOR THE NEXT DAY (what IS it about schools doing that to me?).

The next day I baked a little and then prepped for my interview. It was short and sweet . . . I believed a good interview . . . but I had a lot on my plate for the next day and had to get busy so I let go of the phone call and moved forward.

The next day was Turkey Day and my friends arrived about noon. We enjoyed catching up and some wine and ate a late dinner. It was a nice visit.

The following morning, they took off for home and I got another call from Wyoming . . . this time from the department chair, a man I worked with in Virginia professionally. He was hoping to chat with me as well. So I called him back and we proceeded to have an interview on the spot! Again, short and sweet and I thought went well.

Whew! I decided to chill out for a day on Saturday - hell, I deserved it, right?

Well, the next day I checked my e-mail and lo and behold Alabama had sent an e-mail looking to set up a phone interview! Woot! But when? I have classes all day . . . so I took a morning off from Alexander and had my HOUR LONG conversation (very one-sided I might say, which was fine by me 'cause it was the other side doing most of the talking) with the department chair. It felt pretty good, but I was less convinced that one went well.

The next thing I know, Wyoming is calling and e-mailing trying to set up an on-campus interview - which is GREAT but I had a show to do (see The Naked Show below)! So, I set it up for Finals Week - for them and me. And that will be the topic of another installment.

So, as I wrote way back in September, I was cast in a University production as a faculty artist in a show where I needed to appear "mostly" naked. At the time, the director thought I'd be barely covered, but as the time wore on and the more we rehearsed, the more it became clear the only way to be true to the story and the character was to be NAKED - completely.

As I am a professional and pretty free spirited (no comments from the peanut gallery), I didn't have any problems with that. And come to find out, I wasn't the only one that needed to be naked! A young, very attractive, male in the show was also going buff for a short portion of a scene. Nakedness loves company!

Rehearsals were, for the most part, fun . . . but challenging. All of my instincts worked against who this character was and there was a point in the process that I really thought I was the weakest link in the show. That's a terrible feeling to have when you are TEACHING those around you!

It got so bad, I finally sought out the director. I was so frustrated! Before Thanksgiving break, I had a huge breakthrough, but upon my return it was like it never happened. What I had found, I had lost in that time away from the process. UGH. Anyway, I tapped on the office door of the director, sat down, and in my frustration burst into tears. Fortunately, the director is a cool chick and understood the tears weren't a sign of weakness . . . 'cause believe me, the last thing I wanted to do in front of her was freakin' cry!

She chatted with me and in a director's mysterious way, found something to say that relieved me of my frustrations and fears, and grounded me back in the character. Amazing.

So, the two weeks after Thanksgiving break were MADNESS. I was going into tech and performance for the show, I had one phone interview and was madly trying to set up an on-campus interview in freakin' LARAMIE on top of going to class in Urbana, teaching classes here, dealing with student assessments, and trying to grade the stack of papers that were up to my knees. YIKES.

Surprisingly, I managed and we had our 10/12 on a very snowy Saturday. The next day, naked boy and I decided, would be our first naked rehearsal (we had been wearing less and less over the rehearsal period). So, first tech run we dropped the robes and did it. And it was FINE. We had two dress rehearsals (or no dress as the case may be - ha ha) and those went well, too. Finally, it was OPENING. Thank heavens!

Opening night was sold out and many of my colleagues and students were there. I was nervous, of course, 'cause of all that was at stake, but felt pretty good after the show was over.

The next day, a colleague who is very hard please stopped by my office and congratulated me. Gave me some high praise, for which I was extremely grateful, and went on his merry way.

The day after that, another colleague sent an e-mail to the director, the school director, and me extolling the show and calling me "AWESOME". Now that was pretty satisfying, I have to say. I knew then the school director would see it (a small vindication). I was just sorry it hadn't been copied to the entire faculty.

In the end, most of my colleagues had very nice things to say to me and even the Wicked Witch of the Midwest, in her ungracious manner, congratulated me. So, I didn't suck. WHEW!

Of course, all good things must come to an end, and this one more quickly than I would have liked. When the director came down to the dressing room on closing to give us all hugs, I cried again. Only this time it was because I once again am an actor without a show and don't know when my next trod across the boards will be. Naked or not.

And I am sad.

Friday, December 14, 2007

The Mother of All Updates (Installment #1: Jamaica Redux)

Oh my! Where do I begin????

Since I last updated, I have been to Jamaica and back, enjoyed Turkey Day with friends, opened and closed the Naked Show, conducted finals, and have interviewed for a job in the Cowboy State.

In fact, I am STILL IN the Cowboy State. And I am wondering if I'll get OUT of the Cowboy State. It is snowing . . . albeit lightly . . . but after my adventure getting here, I'm not sure of anything.

But I am getting ahead of myself. Let's talk about Jamaica, Mon.

The trip there was about as smooth as trips out of the country can be. I met up with my friends and their friends in Atlanta and we were off. We arrived a little early, even, in Jamaica. But that's when the trouble began.

So there are six of us, right? And we booked the trip in FEBRUARY. Upon arriving at the Jamaican airport, we headed to the lounge area to arrange our transportation to our resort as we had been instructed to do. We get up to the clerk and she tells us we have no reservations. WHAT???!!!

So, for the next three hours or more, we are on the phone to our travel agent in the States, the resort manager, and the booking agency trying to solve the problem. Yeah, 'cuz that's a fun way to spend your first day in Jamaica. By the time we got the problem "resolved" (and by that I mean unsatisfactorily), the sun was setting, we were hungry (and a couple were drunk), and off to a lesser resort. Bummer.

It was a long drive to the other resort and along the way, we made a potty stop for the drunk ones. Come to find out, one of my friends' friends made a "purchase" while there from the bus driver to enjoy later in weekend. Nervy broad.

We finally arrived at the resort at the one time of the day when there is practically no food being served so we inhaled a plate of french fries, got settled in our rooms, and waited for the full dinner. While wandering about the place killing time, I noticed two young men playing pool. Very attractive, European-looking, and my appetite for dinner disappeared. :) I made eye contact with one . . . but felt a little shy because I was out of my element with these friends.

In the end, this shyness would be my achilles heel . . . and the one single gal of the trip would be lonely the entire time. SIGH. What was I thinking???? Still, we hung out with them the entire weekend.

So, the trip wasn't all bad. Because of the resort's mistake, we ended up getting our money back and a bunch of free amenities we wouldn't have had otherwise (massages, etc). I got to sail one great day, climbed Dunn's Falls, and enjoyed a booze cruise and lots of food and sunshine. But I admit, I felt like I was in high school again with my friends. I'm just not myself around them. Not even close. I'm suddenly 16 again and fade into the background. Not a place I like to be, as most of you know.

On the return trip, we once again spent too many hours in the Jamaican airport. To be honest, I was ready to go home when we did and grateful for the money back.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Jamaica, Mon!

In less than 24 hours I will be in Jamaica.

It can't get here fast enough! It has been a hellish few weeks making it to this point. And though it is nearly 8pm, I still can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I will be in rehearsal until 10:30pm, then I have to run to the 24-hour Walgreen's for toothpaste and gum, then get some cash, then go home to finish packing and prep my place for my pet sitter. WHEW! My flight leaves at 6:00 AM tomorrow which means I'll have to be up by 3:30 in order to have the time to take care of the critters, shower, and get to the airport. UGH. I have a feeling I'm looking at 3 hours of sleep if I'm lucky.

But it's all good because tomorrow at this time I hope to have a BIG drink in my hands, old friends by my side, and NO WORK for five days! I plan on sleeping, swimming, snorkeling, sailing, skiing, scuba diving, kayaking, eating and drinking my way through the long weekend. I can't wait.

For now though, I'm having trouble staying on my feet. In the past couple of weeks, I've had my morning classes 50 miles away, my afternoon classes here, and evening rehearsals. PLUS, silly me signed on to direct a 10-minute play for our playwright's workshop so I spent all of my "spare" time this weekend doing that! My one night off of rehearsal this week I teched the 10-minute play. Mrg.

So . . . if I can stay on my feet for the next few hours, then I can enjoy being "off my feet" for the next several days.

Jamaica or bust, Mon!

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Working Weekend

So far, I have spent my weekend WORKING.

Not what I enjoy doing on my days off, but with my schedule getting tighter and tighter and with more and more to accomplish, it is a necessary evil.

Yesterday, after an hour and a half walk with Zoe on the trail (lovely!), I plopped myself down in front of my computer and worked on SEVEN job applications. Yup, seven. And to be honest, I'm really excited about some of them. There are two in Colorado, one in Montana, and another in Wyoming - all of which are exciting for different reasons. So it isn't all bad. However, academic job applications are labor intensive and it took me ALL day (with an interruption to eat lunch and an interruption to chat with a friend). WHEW. By 6pm I was exhausted and poured myself the first glass of wine I've had in three weeks! I then called PhD to catch up over a long distance happy hour. It was terrific chatting with her.

This morning, again after a long walk with Zoe (this time at the park), I finally went grocery shopping and was back at the computer paying bills (UGH, I am so broke). Soon, I will get to my grading and then I need to work on my script for tonight's rehearsal.

I have to say, rehearsal, though time consuming, is the high point of my days right now. It feels SO GOOD to be an actor again. I don't even know how to describe it. The play is challenging in good ways to me and I'm really enjoying working with this director. And though I have little interaction with all of the students in the cast, I'm enjoying their work as well. How I WISH I could be a full-time actor!!!! Well . . . should none of my job applications pan out, I'll consider it the Universe's way of telling me to give acting another shot.

Not much else to tell. My house is a mess and I need to do laundry . . . what's the priority? Grading or cleaning?

Tomorrow is another Monday and on top of the usual work I have, I need to get my tires checked and probably buy a couple. Yeah, with all my extra money.

So . . . so much for days OFF. Christmas is coming after all.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

I AM A NOW A PARENTHETICAL THOUGHT

Yes, it's true. As of yesterday.

I opened my inbox to find a copy of next fall's teaching schedule. Eager to see what new ways the Wicked Witch of the Midwest could humiliate me, I scrolled down to the bottom of the schedule and saw this:

NTT (my name)

Yup. I have been reduced to parenthesis.

The Wicked Witch has once again, in her passive-aggressive manner, made it clear I will not be back next year.

And to add insult to injury ('cause what else is to be expected?), the schedule makes it IMPOSSIBLE to continue my professional certification in the Alexander Technique. Which is nuts because it was in the position posting when I applied that I be certified or be willing to become certified! It is my guess this was on purpose to make returning less appealing should our School Director override her feelings and offer me another year here (and that's even more unclear especially now that that the cat is out of the bag I'm looking for other work - he asked me outright in a "casual conversation"), and to thwart my artistic growth.

AND, not only do I get no upper level majors classes AGAIN (with the exception of movement), but I am also saddled with four classes AGAIN when the normal teaching load is three. I have only taught a regular load one semester. The Wicked Witch is working hard to help me fail.

SIGH. This place really is a "den of vipers," as the Fight Guy likes to say.

In the meantime, I am still working on job applications. I am struggling to find the time with my current schedule, but hope to crank some out this weekend. I have printed a bunch of new openings this past week and need to focus some attention on doing that.

Of course, a war wages inside of me: do I really want to be a full-time teacher? I am not sure I know that answer. Actually, that's a lie. I know I DON'T want to be a full-time teacher. I WANT to be a full-time ACTOR. Unfortunately, I don't know how to make that happen. I've had enough trouble even being a part-time actor.

So is this the next best thing? I think in some ways it is. Unless every place is as nasty as this one. Who needs this toxicity in their life?

SIGH.

If you have any answers, pass them along . . . parenthetically, of course.

Monday, October 08, 2007

Hot, Humid, and CANCELED

It's hard to believe . . . but yes, the Chicago Marathon was canceled about 3 1/2 hours into the race.

My heart goes out to the runners. All those people who trained so hard who won't have an "official" time.

Still . . . it was BLOODY HOT. And I was just standing there!

I don't quite know how to feel about it. I'm relieved I couldn't run. I have run three marathons in mid-80 degree weather and can sympathize with the masses. And you can't stop at just the air temperature - add in the humidity (something like 74% yesterday) and the 10 or more degree rise in body temperature and you're looking at trying to run 26.2 miles in what feels like over 100 degrees! Ugly. Painful. HELL.

And yet I'm really mad at the race officials. This weather had been predicted for several days. And regardless of what the race director says, there was a real lack or water along the route. Ask any runner who might have expected to finish in 4 or more hours. Coach P said he had no water for the first TWO water stops and then only ever other stop after that! WHAT? How does that happen??? There are a number of marathons who run in high heat regularly. They're prepared for it and they don't have to cancel.

I understand it is normally 20 - 30 degrees cooler this time of year in Chicago. That's no excuse. Any race director needs to be prepared for the worst - in either heat or cold.

As I left the course, I saw a group of spectators taking the water shortage into their own hands: they had purchased countless 10 gallon water jugs at a nearby grocery along with bunch of plastic cups and were handing water out to the runners. I heard this occurred at numerous places along the course. And the fire officials had opened up hydrants and were spraying the runners as they walked or slowly ran by.

Those poor runners!

I was standing at mile 25 and I was there early enough to see the elite runners fly by . . . but even they looked like they were working hard. In my 5 + hours on the course, I saw two runners go down and get medical attention. I was surprised it wasn't more, frankly. Nearly all looked miserable and before long the majority of them were walking. Come to find out it was because they had been informed the race was canceled and they should WALK the rest of the route. It was inspiring to see so many still determined to FINISH. It brought tears to my eyes.

And still so many didn't finish. Over three hundred were hospitalized. And that poor runner who collapsed and died. How awful for the family and friends . . . my heart aches for them.

I know several from Team in Training who were running their FIRST marathon. How disappointing to have your first be canceled! You never get your first back. We had one runner who had hoped to qualify for Boston . . . no way that was going to happen yesterday. I understand he's planning on running Columbus in two weeks to try again.

Still . . . without water I suppose they were smart to cancel.

So, the race has come and gone. The heat is still here (92 predicted today) . . . but expected to be gone tomorrow. Two days too late for 36,000 runners.

SIGH.

Alaska is looking better and better.

THERE IS NO FINISH LINE.

Friday, October 05, 2007

Marathon Weekend

This is the weekend of the Chicago Marathon.

I am sad I won't be running, but in a few hours I'm off to what I hope is my LAST meeting with Dr. W regarding my stress fracture. Keep your fingers crossed.

In spite of not being able to run, I'm heading up to Chicago anyway to cheer on my Teammates and play with my friend, G. I'm taking the train . . . even though I could drive, I decided not to fight the traffic and this way I can sleep or read en route there and back. It should be a nice change from my usual frantic trip up I-55.

Once there, G and I will hit the Expo. It will be the first time I go to an Expo and not pick up a packet, but I'm looking forward to being in the environment anyway. All those runners . . . hopefully it will inspire me to eventually get back in my shoes and running - in spite of the cold and dark (because come November, my only time to run will be around 5 AM). Plus, the Expos are famous for their free samples so I plan to stock up on mini-power bars and the like. And I'm going to get a whistle and make posters for my friends. One of my teammates is hoping to qualify for Boston. He's quick . . . and to be perfectly honest quite pretty. Wish I had been as fast as he is just to spend my Saturday mornings running with him! Yes, of course he's young. It's ME, remember? But I digress . . .

Saturday evening G and I are going to eat out. HUAH! I get to enjoy a meal out of town that isn't a chain. Okay, so I don't really go to the chains here . . . I pretty much don't go out to eat here. So I'm looking forward to a fun evening. I don't imagine G and I will close the town down, however. Normally I would be happy to do that, but we'll have an early morning on Sunday to claim our spot along the route.

Sunday is race day. I plan to park it around mile 25 with other Team In Training folks. G's back has been bugging her and with my leg still healing it is probably best not to race around to different points along the route (what I would do if I were healthy). So we'll go and hang out and watch all the similarly certifiable individuals stagger by with just over a mile to go.

I admit, I'm bummed. But maybe in the end I'll be relieved. It's going to be quite warm - high near 90 degrees - and I'm not a fan of running that distance in that kind of weather. Still, there may be a breeze off the lake so it might not be terrible. Hard to know.

Anyway, that's the plan. I'm getting the hell out of Dodge, even if it's only for 36 hours or so.

Wish the Hula Ladies could be here . . . it would have been fun to party Chicago-style with them.

I'm just holding on to turning those Hula Ladies into Eskimos. :)

And to all those Chicago bound this weekend planning to go the distance - run happy.

THERE IS NO FINISH LINE

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Cat Containment Take Two

Why did I bother? Really, what was the point?

Within minutes, Henry was out of his HARNESS and enjoying the wide world of Founders Grove.

I will keep trying . . . but Henry is not only a hunter, he is also a Houdini.

SIGH.

I tried. Perhaps the universe is trying to tell me something. Any ideas on what that might be?

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Cat Containment

This morning I installed what I hope will be a functional cat containment system for Henry.

King Henry. King Henry the Hunter. King Henry the Big Game Hunter.

Yes, I said Big Game. You see, over time his kills have gotten bigger and bigger. There was a series of days not long ago when he brought home bunnies. He started with baby bunnies and the next thing I know he's bringing back bunnies as big as he is!

The final straw was finding the be-headed bunny body in the yard. The time had come to find a way to KEEP him in the yard and save the wildlife in the neighborhood.

So I went out and bought a dog track system. Yeah, I know it's a DOG track, but if I asked for a cat track I'd get laughed at - the just don't exist. It's pretty long and has flexibility so Henry actually gets a decent amount of roaming space. I considered a dog run, but as I have only one tree in the yard and my house is siding, it was impractical. So I found something that will put me, and my pet-sitter, at ease.

I don't know how Henry will take it. This morning, just in the time it has taken to install the thing (which wasn't very long, thank you very much), he killed a mouse and a bird. And those are just the ones he brought home. To be fair, though, I think he brings ALL his kills home. He's quite proud of them.

I don't imagine I'll use the containment system ALL the time. Probably most week mornings when I can't spend extra time waiting on him to return home (even though he's pretty good about coming when I call him). And probably as the daylight hours get shorter, he'll spend more time tethered.

SIGH. I know it goes against his nature . . . he is a hunter in his heart and he's quite good at it. I also understand "survival of the fittest." It just seems the balance is tipped in his favor and we don't get many birds (or squirrels, or any wildlife for that matter) in our yard anymore. I'll let him hunt on occasion . . . but maybe this way the birds and bunnies will have a fighting chance.

Now . . . I just need to get the harness on him.

Thursday, September 27, 2007

Pop Quiz

Today I was one of those teachers.

Yeah, one of those teachers who knows the majority of her students aren't reading the material assigned (or if they are, not with any retention) and to test her theory gives a pop quiz.

They bombed.

Does it make me feel good? Not at all! I don't enjoy giving quizzes and making them feel badly, but I needed to make a point. The reading isn't negotiable. The material is important and worth their thoughtful consideration. I think I got their attention.

I gave the quiz at the top of class and man were they invested in the rest of the class!

Of course, it makes me sad it has to come to that. I'll admit, I slacked off on reading assignments when I was an undergrad - I remember what it was like. But I chose carefully what I didn't read! I use a good deal of the vocabulary from the book, and when I first introduce a word in class I either define it or ask them to define it. However, I don't LECTURE from the book. I USE the ideas presented in the book in exercises and in class projects. So - duh! - you gotta read it and understand it to even know what the heck I'm talking about!

SIGH.

What really gets me is I don't give them an inordinate amount of homework. AND, aside from me announcing the reading is due, it is clearly outlined on the syllabus. Frankly, I think they have it easy on the homework scale. But the material isn't a cake-walk (like so many seem to believe and therefore choose the class).

I think I've decided to change the syllabus for next semester. Though it means more work for me, I'm going to give regular quizzes in conjunction with the reading. Perhaps that will solve the problem.

But I'm getting ahead of myself a bit here . . .

At least I'm learning and adapting with each new class. I like that part of repeating classes. I don't have to come up with a completely new prep, but I can make changes - get rid of things that don't appear to work and add things I hope will. It's kind of fun to think of fine-tuning the class each semester.

Yeah, I actually put the word fun with my job.

I admit, I'm not sure academia is for me. I love being in the classroom, but I despise grading, meetings, most committee work, and the political posturing and games. So . . . much of the time there is more pain associated with my job than not. But it IS getting better. Or maybe I'm just handling it better.

Now, please put your books away and take out a pen or pencil.

Sunday, September 23, 2007

Back on the Boards, Baby!

Believe it or not. I hardly believe it myself.

Yes, I'm getting back on the boards. It's all a bit crazy and though I'm very excited, I'm also very nervous.

'Cause my next show is for the University. Yup . . . the University. The same University that has been the source of much unhappiness for me these past six months.

It's a bit of a whirlwind and only just happened, but let me tell you the story.

So every year our department produces a play that is written by, or tells the story of, an under-represented population. This year we are doing a Native American play - a really fascinating piece called The Unnatural and Accidental Women. I wouldn't call it an easy play, in form or content; its a surrealist dramatization of a thirty-year murder case involving a large number of Native American women.

Normally, at least one role in this production slot is filled by a community member. And the director looked and looked but wasn't happy with the auditions. At a casting meeting earlier this semester, the director expressed her woes and said she would gladly cast a number of the women sitting around the table (all faculty) - and then looked directly at me and said something along the lines of, "In fact, I'm looking right at a person I would cast right now." Now, she had seen me audition in December as she was directing for a summer gig I wanted, and had told me then she really liked my work so I wasn't floored, but I was surprised.

Considering the political situation I find myself in on campus, I just smiled at her (not wanting to inflame The Wicked Witch of the Midwest who was among those present). However, the next day I sent her an e-mail letting her know, though I didn't show it at the meeting, I would be pleased to read for the role she was having trouble casting. She replied she was happy to know that and would get back to me.

Well, she finally did on Thursday. She found me in the doorway of another colleague's office and whisked me away to her office to offer me the role outright. I accepted on the condition that she okayed it with my union (didn't want to shoot myself in the foot) and after a phone call and signing a letter the deal was sealed.

SO . . . I will once again be an ACTOR. I am THRILLED. And TERRIFIED. I mean . . . my job is tenuous enough but now The Wicked Witch is pissed off and I have to "prove" myself in my craft. WHEW. I absolutely cannot suck.

The role isn't huge (thank God), but is important as she is lends strength, humor, love, and patience to the piece.

Oh, and I have to be naked.

Okay, NEARLY naked. Naked enough.

No pressure - NONE AT ALL!

I'm not really worried about the naked part in the sense that I am comfortable being naked on stage. I'm less secure in how comfortable everyone else will be! I mean, I'm working with, and performing for my colleagues and students! So I am taking it on as an opportunity to be a model for what I teach in class: saying yes, active choice-making, vulnerability, professionalism, etc. I am hoping that is enough to keep me grounded through what could be a very nerve-wracking experience.

Because aside from my situation in the department and being naked in front of my students, I am also worried about serving a play about Native women (Cree specifically) as an obviously Caucasian woman. Yes, my hair will be dyed. And perhaps I will suggest brown contacts. But can I TRUTHFULLY represent this woman? I realize it is an actor's job to find a way using the tools she possesses, but there is an unfortunate irony here that doesn't escape me. How do I move past that to fill this woman's shoes?

Oh wait, she's not wearing any shoes! Okay, poor display of humor . . . just another clear indication that I am not completely comfortable tackling this role. SIGH.

However, that won't stop me. In fact, it makes for an interesting class discussion!

So that's that. I'm back on the boards. And if you're not doing anything in December, come on by and see me (a LOT of me)! I'd welcome the feedback. Meegweetch.

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Diagnosis and Dinner

Okay, so let's get the medical stuff out of the way first.

I had an x-ray taken and then met with Dr. W. Sure enough, you could see the fracture plain as day now that it's healing. Bizarre. Anyway, he tested the fracture with some pressure and it still hurts pretty badly in some places so I'm not out of the woods yet. I have to wear the boot for FOUR more weeks - yup, four. The good news is, I can now start to wean myself from the boot through the course of the day.

Yesterday, I liberated my leg to teach my movement class. It was fabulous! Sure, the leg is a little tender but I wasn't doing anything strenuous and was amazed at what a difference it makes to be rid of the boat on my leg. I will continue to make those kind of choices over the next four weeks and will see Dr. W. again in three. I'm on my way.

Now, dinner in the title refers to getting together with a Gentleman I hadn't seen in six years! Believe it or not, he was passing through this wasteland. He was an undergrad when I was in grad . . . handsome, fun, and all around nice guy. I'm happy to report he still is all of those things.

Anyway, he was passing through with his lady on his way home to LA (yeah, he's an actor) and we met up for some margaritas and Mexican food. His lady's sister-in-law joined us as she and her husband live in town. It was a little surreal to be perfectly honest.

I mean, the Gentleman was as wonderful as ever . . . but it wasn't easy catching up with two complete strangers (to me, anyway) with us. His lady is very nice, but appeared weary - either from her travels or from the chitchat - and I felt kinda bad. But I also really wanted to visit with him and I only had that one chance after six years.

Needless to say, we parted ways after a relative quick meal - just two hours. I see my colleague the Fight Guy regularly and our dinners often last hours and hours! I admit, I was a bummed out. I can't say why exactly. It's not like I'm close to the Gentleman. But I do consider him a friend and it seems strange to say good-bye after so short a visit. I suppose that feeling is intensified by the fact that I get FEW visitors. AND, we shared only ONE pitcher of ritas among the four of us! THAT'S NUTS!!!

So that's that. Meanwhile, my 15-year-old nephew is enjoying a week long WINE FESTIVAL in Spain!!! What is wrong with this picture????

Thursday, September 13, 2007

Das Boot

Yeah, I know it means The Boat . . . not the cast . . . but frankly it feels about as big as a damn u-boat!

Sure, I laugh about it with friends and colleagues, but to tell the truth, it's driving me crazy. It's big and clumsy and is throwing my alignment completely out of whack. I wear a shoe that's as close as possible to the same size heel on my other foot, but of course it's not perfect and by the end of each day my back is sore and I'm exhausted. True, I am on my feet nearly the entire day, but it never use to make me feel like this.

Every day somebody asks me how much longer and the real answer is I just don't know, but I usually say, "Hopefully by October." The good news is, by tomorrow I may just have a definitive answer for them.

Tomorrow, I go in for a follow up x-ray and consultation with the orthopedist. They are going to take an x-ray to see if it's healing (apparently, calcification from healing shows up on x-rays unlike the fracture itself) and I get to chat with Dr. W. I am hoping for the best and that I WILL be completely free of this boat, I mean boot, by October.

As healing goes, I appreciate I have it pretty easy. I don't have to use crutches, I can take the cast off at night and sleep well, I haven't needed any pins or screws put into my leg, and as it's my left leg I can still drive. So I am deeply grateful for all that I can still do.

On the other hand, it's funny what we take for granted as healthy people. Right now, my entire leg and foot is immobilized. I lead warm-ups for my classes and I can't rotate my left ankle. Stairs are HARD WORK. Today, I nearly fell over just trying to demonstrate something in class as I can't balance very well. And I have a limited number of choices in my wardrobe that I can wear with this thing on my leg.

So I must remind myself daily of all that is good about Das Boot. And be grateful it isn't permanent. Cause as of today, I have "unofficially" chosen Alaska as my next race!

Tuesday, September 04, 2007

Wonders Never Cease

Okay . . . so it has been a tough time. I am struggling daily with being committed to this place. It has little to do with the job itself - I love being in the classroom and I generally like and respect the students here very much.

My difficulty comes from the toxic environment in which I work created by a select group of colleagues. Since last spring, this select group has made me feel unwelcome, disrespected, and unsupported. This group has made me doubt my teaching abilities and beyond that, my own self-worth. As if life in the Arts isn't difficult enough . . .

Anyway, this feeling hung like a dark cloud over the long weekend. My wonderful parents came to visit me and we had a pleasant time doing very little ('cause there isn't a lot to do here). However, the negativity that has been heaped upon me since April is clearly impacting how I interact with others. It makes me feel yucky . . . and yet I have trouble shaking it off and getting out of my funk.

Often, my students take care of that for me. Small breakthroughs, big breakthroughs, and even quiet comments made to me outside the classroom can make a HUGE difference in the kind of day I am having. For example, the other day I had a young man add my class (yes, he was late, but I let him in anyway). I was worried about him being behind, but he jumped right in and said YES in big ways to the work we were doing. After the class, he followed me to my office to get his syllabus and a homework assignment he missed and along the way he said something like, "I'm so glad I joined this class! I had a good time today and you are so funny. I can't wait to tell some of my friends about it." REALLY. I was blown away by his enthusiasm and what started as a day of struggle, ended as a day of lightness and joy.

Then there was another student who came to me expressing an interest in changing his major to theatre after only three classes! Though I'm sure he had wanted to be a theatre major from the time he was a freshman, he finally got the courage to say it out loud and do something about it. After discussing his options, I sent him on his merry way (and he truly appeared MERRY). The next day he stopped by my office and said he was transferring into a majors acting class and wondered if it would be okay for him to transfer into MINE as he felt really comfortable with me as an instructor. Of course I said yes and I'm eager to see him with his peers in a majors class tomorrow.

But today I got an honest, but good, shock. Between two of my classes, I had enough time to stop by the office and check my mail box. In there was an envelope from the Office of the Dean. I figured it was my renegotiated contract (done by the union and finally ratified last week) to sign. I opened the letter expecting as such and instead it was a letter informing me I had been awarded a Travel Grant! WHAT THE ???? REALLY? I applied for that thing with no real hope, but nothing ventured nothing gained. I don't get to go anywhere exotic . . . I applied for travel money to support my on-going certification process that requires I put 500+ miles a week on my car.

As I said, I had no real hope in getting it. It's done by the Dean and all the Directors of each School and of course seniority plays a big part. So I'm stunned and thrilled and FINALLY feel valued . . .

Wonders never cease.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Alaska Anyone?

Okay, so I'm not running Chicago. I'm disappointed, but it's not the end of the world.

The Leukemia and Lymphoma Society has generously offered me another choice of races within this fiscal year. There are four I can choose from that will allow me the maximum time to heal:

*Country Music Marathon, Nashville, Tennessee - April 26, 2008
*Indy Mini Half Marathon, Indianapolis, Indiana - May 3, 2008
*Rock 'n' Roll San Diego Marathon, San Diego, California - June 1, 2008
*Mayor's Marathon, Anchorage, Alaska - June 21, 2008

My brother, nephew, and I discussed running the Country Music Half-Marathon last April so that's a race that's been on my radar for a while. It's near my brother so his family could come and watch, and my nephew and I wouldn't have to travel terribly far. Should I choose this race, I would run the full marathon and maybe get those two to do the half. It could be a fun family event. However, last year that weekend proved to be really difficult with my teaching schedule. Might it not be tricky again this year?

I'm disinclined to run Indy. I hear it's a fun time, but I'm not a NASCAR fan and I don't get jazzed up to run around the Indy 500 track. I just don't. Besides, it's in Indianapolis and I can go there any weekend I want. But why would I want to? I don't mean to trash what I am sure is a lovely city, but it's just not top on my list.

San Diego is awesome and listening to Rock-n-Roll along the route might be just what I need to run a solid, consistent race. I love southern California anytime . . . and it would be another destination marathon that I could turn into a little vacation. School will be out for the summer, and early June is a more flexible time. With the exception of a three mile climb early in the race, the course looks pretty flat and beautiful. Plus, I would get a free beer at the finish line! Again, they have a half-marathon so I might be able to drag some family along with my friends. It's a promising choice.

As I am sure you have guessed though, my first choice is ALASKA! I've never been, it's summer solstice, and I would turn it into an amazing vacation like I did when I ran Honolulu! Sadly, one of the Hula Ladies won't be available to join the fun if I choose to go as she'll be off to Kazakhstan for her two-year stint in the Peace Corps. But that still leaves two of the Hula Ladies and an invitation to all others who would like to partake! Plus, they also offer a half-marathon so I might be able to convince my brother to make the trip.

The difficulty in choosing this far out is I just don't know what next summer will bring. I have no job security and that makes me nervous. Plus, I want to audition for summer stock and should I be cast, a late June race date would surely be a conflict.

Still . . . I have time to decide and could even change races up to sometime in February if I had to. So, yeah, I'm leaning toward Alaska.

And I'm getting excited.

Any Eskimos out there ready to join me? :)

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

And the Winner Is . . .

STRESS FRACTURE!

Yup. I am in a "boot" as I type, bemoaning my fate and new fashion statement.

I will NOT be running the Chicago Marathon.

There is no finish line, however, so stayed tuned. More to come - I promise!

Thursday, August 09, 2007

X-Rays and Bone Scans


SIGH. It's come to this.
Last week I had some x-rays taken of my left leg at my primary doctor's recommendation. She got back to me with good news - according to HER, the x-ray was all clear. However, she suggested I confer with the orthopedist anyway to make certain. On her all clear I ran 16 painful miles Saturday and then met with my orthopedist on Monday.
The orthopedist had a different opinion about the x-rays. He pointed out a bright line that follows the area of intense pain I'm experiencing and said it could be one of two things: 1. (Best Case Scenario) a vein, or 2. (Worst Case Scenario) a stress fracture.
Ugh. So he prescribed a bone scan to rule out #2.
The bone scan is today. I've already gone in for my "radioactive" medicine and preliminary pictures. I'll admit, aside from the technician having trouble with my rolling veins (multiple needle pricks), I was fascinated! I got to watch the medicine move through my veins on a little screen as it took the pictures. Very cool stuff.
In a few hours, I go back for the full scan and then hope for the best. I'm not certain how quickly I'll get the results, but the orthopedist said I needed to treat it as a stress fracture until we know better. Which of course means no running. I would be tempted to run if it weren't for the very grim description he gave of what would happen should the fracture actually break. Imagine bones going through muscle and skin. You've heard of "scared straight"? Well, I'm "scared sitting".
Needless to say, my frustration is mounting. The marathon is a mere two months away and as hard as those last two miles of 16 were over the weekend, my mind boggles at how I'll add another TEN to that and survive! Obviously a stress fracture might put me out of the race entirely . . . we'll have to see. But should the best news come, I'm still nursing an injured leg and worried about the last few long runs and the race. I miss the healthy body that finished the previous six marathons. Where did that body go?
Well . . . no point in crying for what isn't. No matter what the outcome of today's bone scan, I'll just have to pick myself up and move forward with what's been handed me.
Naturally, I'll keep you posted.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Hellos, Good-byes, and 16 Miles

Well, it's been over a week since I last posted. But it was a fun-filled week with friends and activities!

A week ago Saturday, friends from DC flew in to visit. We had a GREAT time in spite of the fact that this town has little to offer in the way of fun. I picked them up at Midway and drove them back to the "twin cities." We stopped at a pub I enjoy occasionally, Maggie Miley's, and drank some beer or cider and enjoyed some munchies. We had a LOT to catch up on.


The next morning we were off to walk Zoe and then have brunch at Kelley's downtown. Then it was off to campus to show them where I work (they got to see Buck hanging over my desk) and walk around. We ran into one of my colleagues, which was crazy 'cause we had been chatting about him earlier, and he gave us a full tour of the facilities. Then we walked the VERY small downtown area . . . enjoyed a rest the Coffee Hound (where one friend enjoyed a beverage) . . . and then headed home to escape the heat.


Once there, we hung out and chatted . . . and I baked a raspberry pie. Then we planned our menu for a pre-show picnic at the Shakespeare Festival. We ordered from a yummy Italian place that does carry-out and packed a bottle of wine. It was a really nice evening and the picnic was perfect! Then it was off to see the show, which wasn't near as good as the picnic. However, we ran into yet another colleague so my friends were able to start putting faces with names. Then it was back home for pie - YUM!


The next morning we walked again - and ran into yet ANOTHER colleague on the trail. It was getting kind of funny. Then my plan to take them to the Garlic Press, a yummy deli, crashed and burned as it was closed. So we were off to find another place to eat . . . and with each of 5 subsequent tries, we found a CLOSED sign. Seriously, between the twin cities, ONE restaurant (that wasn't a CHAIN mind you) was open. The towns just shut down on Mondays, roll the sidewalks in. UGH.

So we found ourselves in a throw-back of the 80s that made mediocre food and was lit with blue light. Blech. We were one of THREE tables with customers. In hind-sight, we should have gone to a chain!

After, we wandered the streets of the town, hit a boutique run by a nice, but very aggressive saleswoman, and stopped in a second store of the same coffee shop to enjoy a beverage. As there was NOTHING ELSE TO DO, we returned to my place to hang out.

In the evening, I invited the Fight Guy to join us for Margaritas (it was a Monday after all) and Queso. We had a good time drinking and eating and gossipping, and then called it a night. Next morning I had to say good-bye to my friends and drive them back to Midway.

It was a great visit, but impossibly short. I miss them already.

The following night I returned to the Festival with the Fight Guy . . . and was uninspired again, though we also had a great pre-show picnic.

And then Thursday, I made my way north for a day at Great America with my friend G. What a blast! It was bloody hot and it took me nearly 4 hours to GET there (NOT FUN), but it was worth it. G and I have similar tastes in adventure and fun so we're a good team for a day at an amusement park. We already have plans to go back in the fall. I can't wait.

I spent Friday recovering (and visiting doctors for annual exams, blood tests, etc.) and yesterday morning - as I was told my leg x-rays showed no major injuries - I ran 16 miles.

Yup, I got out there and did it. The first 10 weren't so bad. I could feel the shin splint in my left leg, but was managing the pain. From 10 - 13 it started to get worse . . . and from 13 - 14 I could feel my right knee's response to "carrying" the left leg. Miles 14 - 16 weren't pretty. I hobbled along and when the pain got too intense I would walk a bit . . . then hobble along. SIGH.

When I got home I put myself into a cold bath. Not pleasant, but it sure helped my recovery. My left leg still hurts today and I am certainly favoring it; I don't like going up and down stairs and prefer to stay off my feet entirely. Tomorrow I see the orthopedist and hope he has some solid advice that will speed my recovery!

Until then, I will rest (except for the required dog walks) and hope for the best.

And think back on a fun week.

Thursday, July 26, 2007

Closed Doors


As I continue to struggle with the question, "What's next?", I returned to the AIDS Marathon Program to investigate their employment opportunities. I had applied to work there in 2000, and was offered my choice of 3 positions, but it required me to give up the theatre and at that time in my life I wasn't ready.

Time passes and people change and I am feeling I might be able to walk away from my life as an actor/director/professor so it doesn't hurt to LOOK.

In my search, I discovered the Washington, DC National Chapter closed it's doors in February of this year.

What?? How could this happen? What will the Whitman-Walker Clinic do without its support??

I am stunned and saddened. I ran two marathons through the program: my first Marine Corps Marathon, and Honolulu. And the DC program, at least when I was running, appeared to be very strong in numbers. And the thought of going back to DC in different job was appealing to me. But you can never go back, huh?

I was reminded of that another way this past week. I heard from my former housemate, the Lawyer, and she has purchased a home of her own and will be vacating the Pink House. I'm so sad! Of course, I am THRILLED for her - buying your own home is huge and exciting - but I am sad for me. I had secretly - or maybe not so secretly - wished I could go back to that house someday.

So the doors are closing in DC. I suppose I should take that as a sign. Many of my friends have left or will be leaving soon, so that dynamic has changed, too.

The good news is the AIDS Marathon Program still has offices in Chicago, Los Angeles, and San Francisco. So maybe I'll have to look into employment there. And naturally I will be looking at other teaching positions while I give another year of academia a try.

Of course, in the meantime, I will continue to audition. And as sad as the closing doors of the AIDS Marathon Program and the Pink House make me, the closed doors of the theatres are what really break my heart.

Monday, July 23, 2007

Pain, Pain, Go Away

So, you haven't heard from me in a week . . . but that's because I've had nothing new to post. I have been "enjoying" the IRS. No, not the dreaded federal agency . . . Ice, Rest, and Stretch. I even skipped Saturday's 10-miler to try to help my healing.

And today, I was feeling much better, and decided to run.

And the pain came right back. Don't get me wrong. I still ran. I ran 5 miles. I can run through the pain . . . the question is, should I?

Believe it or not, it's a valid question. Sometimes you just need to run through the pain to get past it. I'm just not sure this is the kind of thing I should run through.

And my frustration is mounting. I finally got my bike back from the bike shop, so that's good. I have gotten in a couple of really nice rides. And I continue to go to my yoga class. But nothing replaces the running. I am trying to follow the advice of my coach and this Doc in Runner's World. Granted, Doc Maraham says it takes a couple of weeks to improve so maybe one more week of IRS will help. SIGH.

If all else fails, I need to go see a sports doctor and get a true diagnosis. Better safe than sorry, right?

Monday, July 16, 2007

Starved Rock State Park


Yesterday, Zoe and I visited Starved Rock State Park with my friend G. I hadn't seen her in YEARS and it was really great to reconnect and catch up with her. Especially in such a great park!
We met at the park as it's about half-way between Chicago and Bloomington (a little closer for me). We decided to meet in the morning to take advantage of the smaller crowds and cooler weather at that time. It turned out to be a smart move 'cause it was a gorgeous weekend day and by the time we left it was significantly more crowded.
The legend of Starved Rock isn't too pretty: Starved Rock State Park derives its name from a Native American legend of injustice and retribution. In the 1760s, Pontiac, chief of the Ottawa tribe upriver, was slain by an Illiniwek while attending a tribal council in southern Illinois. According to the legend, during one of the battles that subsequently occurred to avenge his killing, a band of Illiniwek, under attack by a band of Potawatomi (allies of the Ottawa), sought refuge atop a 125-foot sandstone butte. The Ottawa and Potawatomi surrounded the bluff and held their ground until the hapless Illiniwek died of starvation- giving rise to the name “Starved Rock.” Seems strange to build a park around THAT, but . . . it's a beautiful place . . .
Anyway, we hiked along the trails at a leisurely pace (I was hurting badly after my 14 mile run Saturday) enjoying the Illinois River views, canyons, and overlooks (okay, so after getting to the top of Starved Rock via a massive staircase, we opted to miss MOST of the overlooks). I was glad we took our time, not only because I was sore but also because G has an amazing eye for detail and would often stop and point out a stunning spider web, or pretty leaf (the picture at top is one she took), or a butterfly wing. If it had just been the me and the dog, I would have missed EVERYTHING she pointed out.
Zoe was also on her BEST behaviour. Even I was impressed - lol. I let her off-leash quite a bit . . . G and I had a signal for noticing groups of people (kind of like a gobble sound - very silly but certainly unmistakable) so I could call Zoe back and leash her. She obeyed every time! I even overheard some folks commenting on what a good dog she was! And because she was so good, she got to swim (she even enjoyed a short game of fetch in the water) and take the lead on the hike.
The hike took nearly four hours and then we rested and ate some snacks. We enjoyed some nuts, power bars, apples, tomatoes, and watermelon. G even spoiled Zoe with some Turkey (lucky dog!). Then we took off to investigate the canoe rentals. Sadly, the guy wasn't keen on letting Zoe in the boat so we weren't able to spend time on the river. But in the end, we were pretty beat and decided heading home wasn't a bad thing. We even opted against visiting the two local wineries for a tasting (okay, G isn't a wine gal so really it was just ME passing it up - and that's saying something).
As soon as we got in the car, Zoe CRASHED. And as soon as we got home, I crashed on the couch (and G confessed she did the same). In fact, it took every ounce of energy I could muster to fix myself some dinner!
So it was a good, relaxing, fun trip and I hope to get back there. I do want to get into a canoe (I think Zoe would be a good boat dog) and I would like to hit those wineries. So a return trip is on my list.
It won't be this week, however! I am realizing I need to REST my leg so it heals completely. I took an easy walk with Zoe this morning and am looking forward to getting my bike back from the shop so I can BIKE my workouts. It's not the same, of course, but it will keep me fit and strong until I am pain free and can run the miles risk-free. Coach P did say if I'm going to be injured, this is the time as we are "backing off" our miles the next two weekends until we jump to 16. I missed my maintenance run this morning, but am working hard at keeping my eyes on the prize - October 7th.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Decade of Dog Day

Today, I celebrate a decade with Zoe.

Yup, my baby turns 10 years old today . . . I can hardly believe it.

It is another glorious morning here (honest!) and Zoe and I left extra early for our walk. We returned to Tipton Park so Zoe could be off leash and she really took advantage of it today.

What normally takes about an hour to walk (twice around each of the three "water" areas), took over two hours this morning! She was really in her element today and spent most of the time either in the water or in the marsh grass and plants trying to flush out bunnies and whatever that dam-building mammal is that lives there. I suppose it could be beavers. I don't know what else build dams in wetlands and I saw the head of one swimming that looked very beaver-ish.

Anyway, she was beside herself with joy this morning. Lots to smell and chase and I think she found a hole that some critter uses 'cause she was digging like crazy at it. I made her stop - I don't want to upset the environment there too much and if you give Zoe an inch she takes a mile.

The air was cool and the sun was warm as we made our way around the park. I finally pulled her away from the mud, gave her a drink, and got her back into the car. Soon she will get a bath. I know, I'm a mean mommy to bathe her today, but she needs it and besides, I found a flea on Henry this morning so all animals get their flea and tick treatment today.

I'll make up for the bath though. Emack and Bolio's, a Boston based ice-cream store that miraculously has a location in Normal, makes a doggy sundae (it's HUGE and has about 10 dog biscuits in it) so she and I are going for ice-cream later today! Yippee!!

Right now my old gal is sitting out back on the patio, enjoying the shade and the cool morning air . . . and I think about how FAST the 10 years have gone. I can hardly remember living without her. She is truly a most loyal companion and I am so fortunate to have her in my life. I have talked about her a great deal in this blog, perhaps that is because she is so wildly important to me and such a big part of my life.

Though you've probably heard these highlights before, here are some of my life with her these past 10 years:

-being there for her very first day alive and watching her grow up. Most folks get their pups when they're about 6 - 8 weeks old. I got her when she was just a few HOURS old. What a gift!
-going to Shawnee Mission Park with her, her brother Rupert, and friends passing through en route to Chicago when the pups were maybe a month old. Zoe and Rupert chased butterflies in the late afternoon sunshine.
-traveling to Chicago when she was about 2 months old. She fell asleep on the foot of my friend in the kitchen and also slept in the same room with the cat - we have the pictures to prove it.
-the summers spent in Keene, NH with my friend the Modern Dancer and his dog, Monty. We hiked this great path nearly every day - sometimes twice a day!
-going to the park near our place in Boston in the middle of winter. The dog owners would congregate while one of them used a laser pointer to exercise ALL of the dogs. Imagine a pack of dogs chasing a tiny red light on the snow. Hilarious!
-Zoe getting me out of bed early one cold, rainy morning in Maine to take our usual hike. I saw a juvenile bull moose that morning!
-all the walks, hikes and runs in DC: in Rock Creek Park, the C & O Canal, the Mall, Lincoln Park, Marion Park, and Congressional Cemetery. She introduced me to a lot of people there: my Pink House Housemate, the Tall Drink of Water I dated for a bit, and so many other friends.
-her visit to Lexington, VA and the fun we had there: her swimming out to check on rope swing jumpers, her first experience being a Truck Dog, and our hikes in the mountains with my fellow cast members.
-trips to all the different beaches we've visited: Hampton, Cape Cod, Old Orchard, Ocean City, Broadkill Beach, and Dewey Beach. One of my favorite trips was Broadkill when the Green Man played fetch with her in the waves.
-all of our road trips: Arizona (where she hiked Sabino Canyon with PhD and destroyed the golf balls in Pastor Dave's backyard putting green), Georgia (where she to swam every day in the lake behind my brother's house and hiked the nearby trails), Denver (where she played in the snow), and countless day trips.
-all of the family hikes in Western Massachusetts. She loves to run ahead and the come back to check on her pack.
-all of the times she has bossed me with her leash.
-all of the times she has "cuddled" with me at night.

In spite of my complaining about her ear infections, dermatitis, her rolling in stinky things, and all the money I've spent (and to be fair, others have spent) to keep her healthy and happy, I wouldn't have it any other way. She is my daily joy.

She is a good dog.

And we've had one hell of a decade.

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Mixed Bag

I have a bunch of things to post so I just figured I'd put them all together in a mixed bag today. Please bear with my babble - which no doubt will often be incoherent and endless (what else is new?).

So my trip to New Hampshire and Maine was just great. I had hoped I would mobile blog more, but I was too busy enjoying myself to really care about posting. I DID manage to run four mornings with the Boys (my nephew, my brother, and my brother-in-law). By the final run, however, my left shin was really troubling me. SIGH.

The family vacation is a real gift, I think. It gives the family together time that is relatively stress-free when you compare it to the holidays. I get to see my nieces and nephews who live too far away and catch up with my siblings and their spouses. Of course, time is spent with my parents, too - the difference being I do see them a LITTLE more often.

There is something about New England that just can't be explained or described. It's a place that needs to be experienced to be appreciated. The weather was cool, even by New England standards, for early July and even I was okay with that. We managed to get to the beach every day but one - and it's a beach you can enjoy wrapped up in your sweatshirt and towel as much as in your bikini or board shorts. I will admit I cannot abide SWIMMING up there! The water is far too cold (yes, I am a wimp, but as most of you know I like it HOT). It has been several years since I've joined my nieces and nephews in body surfing - and the last time I borrowed a wet suit to do it!

Anyway, here are some highlights of the trip:

-my brother's margaritas every night
-coffee on the deck every morning
-my one and only walk along the beach in the FOG (think Stephen King FOG and you've got it right) with my brother and mother
-my mother's cooking and cookies and muffins and BLUEBERRY BUCKLE - yummy!
-my trip to Maine to see friends
-all the amazing food I ate in Maine, including fresh boiled Maine lobster in their backyard
-our walk along the Audubon Trail and seeing a FAWN up close and personal (I could have done without the fire ants so up close and personal though)
-catching up with my cousin the Musician and my Aunt
-bringing a book and not even starting it until the last day
-Sushi with my nephew (and eating it on the main drag in Hampton)
-the un-birthday family gift exchange and "party" on the 4th (it's my sister's birthday and she requested we do this)
-riding bikes up to the Casino on July 4th, in light rain, with my nephew to discover there had been an ACTUAL fire and the fire-works were cancelled
-the rain storms at night
-sharing a room with my nieces and actually enjoying the clothes explosion . . . they are definitely growing up!
-waking up at 5AM the final morning to watch a PERFECT sunrise on the beach with my nephew

Saying good-bye was much more difficult for me this year. Perhaps it is because I'm not so happy here in Central Illinois, but I hated leaving.

And now things are Back to Normal. Ha ha ha.

Not exactly. I had made arrangements for a dinner date when I landed in Midway and was really looking forward to it. My family joked with me (of course) about him and based on that silliness let's call him the General. Anyway, the General picked me up at the airport and off we zoomed in his fast ride to Naperville (where he lives). We walked around a bit, enjoyed a wine tasting, and then went to a yummy tapas restaurant and ate dinner outside. By the time he dropped me off at my car we had been together for six hours. He even kissed me good-night. I thought the evening went well, but of course on the 2 hour drive home kicked myself for all sorts of "little mistakes" I thought I had made.

The next morning I sent an e-mail thanking him for the lovely time and the next day he replied that he also had fun. So, with hope in my heart, the following day I suggested date #2.

Yesterday the General dumped me before I even got a second chance.

So . . . I'm bummed, I admit it. I was REALLY bummed last night. I'm sure I've said this before in this very blog - I may not NEED a man in my life, but that doesn't mean I don't WANT one. And my "relationships" get shorter and shorter. And the lenght of the relationships seem to be directly dis-proportionate to how much I like the guy. Since moving a year ago, I can hardly get to the race, let alone out of the gate! And as much as my friends and I say they're just dumb ole boys, the fact remains that when you look at my dating past, the only common denominator is ME. So what am I doing wrong? I'm not a game player - I try to be authentic when meeting new people - so what is it about me that isn't working? And it can't be that I don't choose the right guys 'cause my dating past is pretty diverse! I am moving rapidly to my 40th birthday and I am tired of being alone. And lonely. I feel like I'm sixteen all over again right now - insecure and vulnerable and completely at a loss. I LOVE my friends and family, but I think we can all admit it's not the same.

So here I sit and write and lick my wounds. Again.

And I think to myself there is so little for me here. In a recent correspondence with my Aunt, I confessed I was counting the months to my departure from here. I am not, by nature, a pessimist! But if just ONE thing would flip here: my toxic work environment, my lack of friends, my non-existent love life, I probably wouldn't be in such a hurry to leave.

And yesterday I became an official resident of the state of Illinois. Oh the irony!

Yes, I changed my license, my registration and title, and registered to vote. I even transferred my insurance. And I've applied for a new passport with Bloomington as my home address. I am no longer a long-term visitor. SIGH.

The good news is I do have some things to look forward to before the dreaded return to school. Two of the Hula Ladies are coming to visit me! Yes, in just over two short weeks, they'll be flying in for a whirlwind trip and I can't wait. I am tempted to keep them here by force, but why should I make THEIR lives miserable too?

Yes, I am feeling very sorry for myself right now . . . deal with it.

I am also looking forward to my parents visiting over Labor Day . . . and of course my trip to Jamaica in November. And the family is discussing going to Spain for Christmas (my speed demon, sushi eating nephew will be studying there).

And I do try to enjoy the little things. This morning Zoe had me laughing out loud on our walk around Tipton Lake. I let her off leash there as it's usually very quiet when we go and there is some kind of damn-building critter there, smaller than a beaver, that Zoe loves to chase. Normally, she doesn't pursue at length, but this morning she was on fire and leaping like a gazelle across the tall grasses in hot pursuit. It is a riot to watch. And my amusement only increased when a little boy in a stroller passing by called her a rabbit! That's one BIG rabbit, but I tell you that little boy recognized hopping when he saw it! So funny!

And of course the kitties are precious.

And I have my yoga class.

OH! And a dear friend, Sensei Burai sent me a pair of his old running shorts for inspiration. I remember these shorts from Kentucky, Alabama, and Colorado. They have a rising sun illustration on the front and they are hard to miss! I laughed and laughed to see them. His wonderful wife was sure to thank me for now owning them!!! It was a great pick-me-up.

So I'm working on my attitude.

I just wish I could RUN. These stupid shin splints are keeping me from purging all my nasty toxins. I know the resting I'm doing now (not running 10 on Sunday and not going to speed training tonight, icing, and stretching) is good for the long run . . . but I am so frustrated!

SIGH.

Even though I'm side-lined right now, my friends and family are still there supporting me. I got a couple of donations yesterday . . . my Uncle B (also a runner) and from my former Team Tegla Leader. And so my frustration goes out the door when I think of all the good that money will do for people frustrated by much larger issues than shin splints: life and death issues. What the hell am I complaining about?

Life is just a mixed bag, isn't it?

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Oh Henry!


I have returned from my vacation (more on that later) and this morning, Henry was so overjoyed by my return he brought me a gift.

He brought me a bird.

A dead bird.

A dead morning (or is it mourning?) dove.

He was SO PROUD.

I was SO MORTIFIED.
Welcome home, Mommy!

Thursday, July 05, 2007

Fire & Ice

So far this vacation has been a combination of hot and cold - fire and ice. Fire - the sunburn I got on the first day at the beach. Ice - the margarita I enjoyed that night. Fire - my eyes burning from the sunscreen I used the next day. Ice - the drop in temperature at night. Fire - the hot coffee I enjoy on the deck each morning. Ice - the gelato I ate with friends in Portland. Fire - the ants that stung my feet and butt at the Audobon trail with same friends (ouch). Ice - the actual ice I put on the ant bites. Fire - the real, multiple alarm fire on the boardwalk that canceled our 4th fireworks. Ice - the yummy homemade, hand churned ice cream we had for the 4th picnic. Fire - how warm I get running with 'the boys' every morning but two. Ice - what I have to do to my shins after those runs. Nearly five days down, two to go . . . more fire and to come!

Saturday, June 30, 2007

Arrivals & Departures

I have reached my destination . . . well, almost. After a busy morning of last minute packing and cleaning, I hopped in my car and drove the 100 plus miles to Midway. Once I found a parking space (not an easy feat even following the shuttle) I got on the aforementioned shuttle for the quick trip to the airport. Frankly, I don't think I could have survived a longer trip as I had been crossing my legs the last 30 miles of drive. Once in the airport and relieved of my morning coffee I checked my bags and waited. I find airport waiting to be among the worst. You're either anticipating a vacation or dreading going home. Or maybe you're waiting for a loved one (or there is the dreadful 5 hour wait for your charter bus home when you have the stomach flu). No matter what the circumstances airport waiting is a drag. I nearly finish my magazine while sitting on the floor (the joy of
waiting for a Southwest flight) before we finally get to board. Of course it's a full flight and I am sitting next to a child. Yippee. My consolation is the flight is short and the child is probably 5. We sit at the gate at least 15 minutes (more waiting) and finally taxi to the runway. As we sit in line to take off, the captain explains a bag has been left on the plane by a previous passener and we're GOING BACK to get it to him or her. Excuse me? My luggage has failed to arrive with me on countless occasions but delivery means the next day if I'm lucky! (So mobile blogs have limits.)

Wednesday, June 27, 2007

iPod Pondering



An iPod is truly a wonderful thing.

I have spent the past day and half downloading most of my music library on this little gadget (and my laptop) and when I am finished, I will most likely not have filled half of its memory.

It's not that I have a LOT of music, but I began collecting CDs back when they "replaced" vinyl and I was crazy enough to join BMG. So I have a decent collection of mostly older music. I'll admit, I've really enjoyed listening to some I haven't listened to in a long time. Music carries many memories. And it makes me happy to be able to carry it with me anywhere.

When I lived in DC, I had my iPod with me all the time. I took it almost everywhere with me (it's especially nice to have on the Metro). When I moved out to the cornfields, it sat at home a lot. But since putting all of my music on it, that's about to change. It's a wonderful thing.

But an iPod can be dangerous, too. You start checking things out in the iTunes store and suddenly you're wanting to spend your life's savings on music!

For example, a few nights ago I saw my boyfriend (Bon Jovi for those who are not in the know) UnPlugged on TV and was so thrilled I ran right to iTunes to see if the concert had been recorded. Well, it had not (at least that I could find), but the new album is out and it took all of my will power to keep from buying it on the spot. I am quite certain I am going to break down and buy it before my trip . . . in 3 days. I just can't resist. I mean, he is my boyfriend after all - not to mention the sexiest man on the planet!

And then there is all the other new music out there. There are a few radio stations I listen to online that feature new music. Well, all I can think of is I MUST get it for my iPod! Seriously, dangerous stuff.

I bought my iPod used from a friend. Though our tastes in music differ, she had a TON of stuff on the iPod already that I liked and I refrained from adding to it for the danger listed above for about two years. Now that I have reconfigured it for my computer, I lost all of her music and I miss a LOT of it! So I've asked another friend who has similar tastes if I can borrow her CDs to download at some point, but that won't cover the Podcasts and hundreds of other songs I'll miss. So I've already started searching on iTunes for the missing music.

Where is the money coming from that's going to pay for all this????

SIGH. I suppose this is where I need to prioritize. Obviously, my boyfriend's music comes first! After that, I suppose I'll just have to add to it here and there. Until I win the lottery anyway.

Or until I get an iTunes gift card!