Itty Bitty Pity Party

Last night, I went out with the girls for our usual hump day martinis and manicures. I had told my friends about my ex getting married, so we had an itty bitty pity party.

As it turns out, all of my friends have a similar story. And so we all spent one drink complaining and moved on. It was exactly what I needed.

In the end, the night was great fun! We didn't bother wasting much time crying in our drinks . . . instead we celebrated the Writer getting published at the tender age of 24 and the Artist showing her work in a faculty installation downtown. Impressive women!

We enjoyed our yummy food and drinks, the soulful sounds of the adorable guitarist, and even some other products. Apparently, the first Wednesday of the month, they invite a bunch of local businesses to sell their wares to us ladies. And they also have a drawing for each of the vendors! I won a necklace!!!! How great is that?

Friends are the best at cheering you up when your down. Not only did I have a fabulous evening with my new friends, but an dear friend from DC sent me an e-mail with this quote from Sex and the City:

Carrie: Later that day I got to thinking about relationships. There are those that open you up to something new and exotic, those that are old and familiar, those that bring up lots of questions, those that bring you somewhere unexpected, those that bring you far from where you started, and those that bring you back. But the most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you find someone to love the you you love, well, that's just fabulous.

Honestly, I really miss this show. For all the silly news and hype, I thought there was some good writing that got the heart of a modern woman and relationships. And this quote raised my spirits immensely. I've had all those types of relationships mentioned, except the last one . . . but I'm working on it. And if it never happens, at least I know I have friends who love the me I love . . . and I can say I love myself. There are a lot of women (and men for that matter) who can't say that.

So I'm over it. Congratulations to my darling ex and his new bride! I wish them lots of love and happiness in their life together.

And for now, I'm still single . . . without the sorrow.

I love itty bitty pity parties!

Still Single . . . Sorrowfully

An ex-boyfriend of mine gets married this weekend.

I found out today. I knew he was engaged and had even asked him and some mutual friends if the deed was done yet, but never heard back. So it goes.

I'm surprisingly melancholy about it. He was the first love of my life and, after some time, we made amends and have been friendly for years. So he's been in my life for over 16 years. And now, after years of hearing about the "Sarah Standard" (at least until his first engagement after we dated - yup, I said first) it is hard to deal with somebody else walking down the aisle to a life with him.

Don't get me wrong. We would never have survived as a couple for a long list of reasons. But I was never asked to be his wife and there was a time I wanted nothing more than to say yes.

Perhaps my still being single increases my sorrow. He found somebody in the end. I still have not. And though I remain positive and active in my pursuit, it feels like time is running out. I am, after all, 40 years old. True, I like younger men, but younger men - more and more, anyway - are less likely to like me back.

I suppose I'm bummed, too, because I don't get to go to the wedding. Stupid, huh? I mean, we're friends, but not THAT close and how weird is it to ask an ex to attend your wedding? Still, some of my friends will be there to toast the groom and I am not among them. And I would like to be.

So I sit in my office, oddly on the verge of tears, wondering WHY I'm feeling this way and exactly WHAT I'm feeling.

SIGH.

I think I need a drink.

Health and Wellness

Today, I am off to the doctor for an annual exam. Oh joy, oh rapture.

A new town, a new doctor . . . and more new forms to fill out! The good news is my university's health and wellness center mailed them to me when I made the appointment. The bad news is I waited until today to fill them out.

Now I am good with all of my current health conditions and I'm pretty good about my family history . . . with a few exceptions. So, at my age, I am once again calling my parents to find out about some family history. It's pretty ridiculous. Even more ridiculous is the fact that, after finding out about my family history and hanging up the phone, I realized I needed to get my immunizations information. Jeez! So I call back, but the keeper of the records (MOM) has left the house. So I am off to my first appointment with incomplete forms. SIGH.

Still, most of the stuff is fine and I am in relatively good health. So it should be an uneventful visit.

And yet it seems like every time I visit a doctor, they find SOMETHING just a little bit (or a lot a bit) wrong with me. I'm not a hypochondriac and I am not prone to exaggeration when it comes to my health . . . but seriously, I visit the doctor (or dentist, or eye doctor) and SOMETHING is wrong (anemia, cavity, new glasses prescription). So I'm always just a bit nervous about going.

And to make matters worse, this is the first of TWO visits to doctors I have this coming month.

I know regular exams are important. I DO. But as I get older I worry more. Plus, my current issues with hives and fatigue don't do much to bolster my confidence. Sure, the herbs are making a difference, but my legs are still covered with sores and I'm still ready to collapse by 8pm every night. UGH.

And going to a new doctor is never easy. Sure, I see a new one nearly every year with all the moving around and change in insurance I've had. But that doesn't mean I like it or am used to it.

And let's face the worst of it, shall we? NOBODY likes to be poked and prodded with sharp instruments in sensitive places! Aside from reading all the humorists versions of exams and procedures, there is little pleasant about seeing a health practitioner - healthy or not.

So wish me luck as I venture back into the . . . office. :)

Potpourri

It has been a couple of weeks since my last post. Life is full and I am often too tired at the end of a long day to write. Right now, most of my days are long . . . and the weekends are generally too short and also FULL up.

But I am taking a moment to update . . . if for no other reason than to assure the three of you who read this regularly that I am alive and well. :)

OBEDIENCE SCHOOL
Stella and I began obedience school last Thursday. It is an 8 week course through Petsmart and our teacher is a woman who served as a police officer, K-9 trainer, and assistance dog trainer so she really knows her stuff. So, I am hopeful Miss Stella will learn some manners and I will learn how to be the alpha dog in our relationship. With Zoe it was easy, and Buster seems a willing Omega, but Stella continually challenges my authority so I am also learning behaviors in class! We are making positive strides with her on-leash behavior and I am optimistic for her in-house behavior as well.

SCHOOL DAYS
School is going well but I am putting in very long days. I am up with the dogs at 5 AM and am often on-campus by 7 AM. I am usually there until 5 or 6 PM and last week Blondie invited me to come into a rehearsal of her show and workshop some monologues with the students. I was thrilled, but of course it meant going back to campus and getting home after 11 PM. I really need to get back into that schedule. Come spring, I'll be directing myself and keeping those crazy hours! Speaking of which, I have read multiple translations of Oedipus now. My brain is full to the rim with Oedipus! Of those I've read, I've set aside two I like and think I could work with . . . but I have several more to go before the final decision will be made.

I am enjoying the teaching for the most part. I really like the students and I am so grateful my colleagues treat me kindly and with respect. It is an unusual experience for me after two years in the Wasteland and I'm still pleasantly surprised by it. I am definitely applying for the tenure track position, but of course there are no guarantees so I am applying all over. UGH. What a pain in the ass!

I have to say, my new school offers a lot of little perks which is really nice. I just wish I had more time to do some of them! I am going to enjoy the free Spanish classes. We meet Monday nights for just an hour . . . and it's a no homework, casual setup just for faculty. Pretty cool!

I'm also amazed at how SOCIAL my new "college" is! Our Dean seems to have something social going for the college faculty/staff every weekend. Last weekend it was a new faculty picnic before an outdoor bluegrass concert (two bands, one is the band that played the music for O Brother Where Art Thou?) that was part of a campus-wide Ozark Festival. It was a stunning evening and we enjoyed free ice cream as we listened to the music. I just wish I could have enjoyed more of the festival! This weekend it was another picnic - at a local park - but I passed as I was just too tired.

SOCIAL LIFE
So obviously, my social life is way better than in the Wasteland, but it has been a quiet weekend. I think that's okay. Ike passed through last night and dumped a ton of rain on us so going out wouldn't have been much fun. And I was wiped out by Friday. Today I have more work to do so . . . I'm cool with being on my own. I am looking forward to doing a couple things this coming week . . . nothing planned yet but I'm sure I can convince a friend or two to join me.

I am still doing the eHarmony thing. It's going okay. One guy I kinda liked is now out of the picture, but so it goes. There are far more than I could possibly keep up with anyway. I'm afraid my rule of communicating with anybody who asks has gone to the wayside. I am needing to be pickier if only for my sanity. I'll let you know if I ever MEET any of the guys in person.

Of course, I'm not opposed to meeting somebody the old fashioned way either!

RUNNING
So I managed to get in a 2.5 mile run on Tuesday at the faculty "gym" on campus. I meant to run on Thursday, too, but I also started teaching the movement warm-up to my students last week and by Thursday I was so sore I couldn't bear the thought of running. I think I'll get in two runs next week, plus a nautilus day, so I will feel more like my old self - I hope - in no time. I don't like feeling quite so soft!!!

I guess that's about it for now. I'm just trudging along . . .

I hope to catch up with you sooner next time.

Bumped Stump Jump

A few moments ago, I gave the planned Stump Jump race a definitive bump.

I'm bummed out.

I'm bummed because I really ENJOY running races! I especially enjoy it when family and friends join me (either as runners or spectators), which I can happily say is nearly all the time. This time round my brother and sister-in-law are running it and I so wanted to be there, too.

Sadly, I still haven't managed to find a way to get running back into my schedule.

Between the dogs and my new job schedule, I have little time for much else except an occasional social gathering in the evenings. Sure, I could run then, but I would have NO friends. And frankly, I've never been a fan of evening work-outs. My latest start time would have to be 6PM.

Now, starting next week, I am really hoping to work a work-out schedule into my routine but it won't be near soon enough to be ready for a hilly 11-miler in early October. SIGH. I know I've said this before, but I have found a FREE faculty/staff facility I can use on-campus and there are times I can work THAT into my schedule!

So . . . though I know "no" is a powerful and good word, and in some cases necessary, I'm just not so good at saying it. I have a Wonder Woman complex - I want to do it all.

But, as I am NOT the great WW, I must bump this stump jump. And I am in the dumps.

New Faculty Orientation (or Death by Meeting)

Well, I appreciate lifestudent's optimism regarding my love life, but sadly my absence has NOTHING to do with that.

I have been sequestered away with all new faculty this past week in our New Faculty Orientation. My brain is mush.

Yup. MUSH. Talk about information overload. First you deal with the practical stuff: W-4s, I-9s, retirement accounts, and medical/dental benefits. It's important stuff that applies to everybody so I can't really complain about that.

But while you're going to and from each meeting, you are bombarded by all services available to you as a teacher. We're talking study abroad, library resources, public radio, the book store, the student union, etc. So even though I got a really cool bag from the bookstore, I ended up filling it with paper from all of these services.

Then you hear the Provost Speak. Then the Associate Provost. Then the President. Then the President of the Faculty Senate. Then the Provost Fellows. Then . . . a whole list of people I don't remember and, frankly, will most likely never see again!

And it felt like they were all saying exactly the same thing . . . only just different enough to confuse you.

Then you heard from more critical services: Center for Service Learning, IT, etc. Now, I get that most new faculty are going to need those services. Technology in the classroom is HUGE and very important to them. But I work in the arts and as such, find most of these meetings to be a waste of my time. Oh, sure, one of my classes will use an online site for class related responses and blogging. But for the most part, all that IT gobbledy-gook doesn't apply to me! And as I sat there and listened to it all . . . my eyes began to glaze over and I started to get confused by all the acronyms being bandied about. By Wednesday, I was convinced a majority of my brain cells were shut down - kaput.

But still there was more! On Thursday, we had an all-college meeting with the Dean (who I think is a rock star and I'm very excited about his leadership) who basically re-iterated everything that had been said by the President and Provost. EXCEPT that the Provost came and spoke AGAIN. I am not kidding you when I say I think I heard nearly the same speech from her FOUR times. WHY??? WHY TORTURE ME THUS???? I have WORK to do!!!

In the all college meeting, we spoke of the University's Public Affairs Mission and Five Goals, the Provost's 3-prong definition of Public Affairs, the Mission of the College and its goals, and how to incorporate ALL THAT into your teaching!!! And that you SHOULD be incorporating it into your teaching. HUH?? You mean I have to rework the syllabi I just spent two weeks on in TWO DAYS??? CRAP.

On Friday we had an ALL DAY faculty "retreat". Don't be fooled by that nice word retreat. It just means a meeting off campus. An ALL DAY meeting. There we talked about the Department's Mission and Goals and how to get that in your teaching as well as all the nitty-gritty of what's ahead.

We have a BIG accreditation review happening this fall so all our ducks MUST be in a perfect row by the end of October. As if my teaching 5 classes wasn't enough!

Plus we talked about budget and grants and tenure and promotion and recruiting and I don't even know what else.

I'm toast. Really. CRISPY TOAST. STILL. And it's been nearly 24 hours since we finished.

I must say I don't know how the University (or any higher education institution) thinks doing NFO the week before classes is SMART. It's NOT. It's confusing. It's mind-numbing. It's repetitive. And it just makes most new faculty a little angry.

If we're supposed to be focusing on EDUCATION then give us the freakin' time to focus on that! I was lucky enough to be well-prepared going into NFO. But I think of all my nice colleagues who just moved here. Who still have furniture to set up and boxes to unpack. Who still don't have keys to their office (if they even HAVE an office yet). Who still have syllabi to write and books to order. Their entire week was taken up with MEETINGS. It's just impractical.

So . . . thanks for letting me vent.

I will say some really good things came out of NFO. I met some really great women in other departments and a few of us already hit Martinis and Manicures together. So my social life - at least in regards to friendships - is already miles ahead of the wasteland. Oh, and I won a $50 gift card at the book store! FREE STUFF IS GOOD. :)

So, okay, NFO wasn't a total waste. But maybe I say that because most of my synapses still aren't firing.

I think I need a nap.

Love Update

Well, so far so good.

And don't be fooled . . . eHarmony can be nearly as overwhelming as the other sites.

In just 5 short days, I have been matched with 40 men. And though not all of them appeal to me physically (yes, yes - the whole vanity thing - blah blah blah), several of them do and also appeal to me "on paper".

HOWEVER, and this is a big deal for those who know me, I am communicating with ALL those who request it. But I am only requesting communication from the guys I'm really attracted to.

So what's out there?

Well, I am chatting with a really fun guy from Sydney, Australia. And there's a like-minded fellow from Colorado in the mix. Basically, I am chatting with gentlemen from all over the world.

Okay, so how does this change my "take out and cable TV" Saturday nights? Well, obviously if they aren't local it doesn't. But I believe that the guy for me could be ANYWHERE. I tend to bloom where I'm planted, so why not chat with somebody in Sydney? Or Colorado? I'd move there in a heartbeat if it made sense to me in the moment.

So I continue to search for love - hopefully, in all the right places.

And Michael from Boston . . . send me a picture! I lived in Beantown for a bit and LOVED it.

You never know. :)

Martinis and Manicures

So, last night I went out with my colleague, Blondie. We hit Tonic, a bar downtown that I hadn't yet been to, for their Ladies Only Happy Hour. They call it "Martinis and Manicures."

Okay, so I joke a lot about my new home town and no longer living an urban lifestyle, but OMG - membership has its privileges!

Blondie and I had no idea what to expect, but were game no matter what. And as we've been busting our asses preparing for a new semester, we decided a hump day treat was necessary.

So we got to Tonic and right away were surprised by how much they were catering to the ladies. Get this, the manicures are FREE during happy hour (6-8pm)! AND they had a bunch of local vendors hawking their wares in a little alcove. Everything from Tupperware to jewelry, it was there.

So we find a seat, put our names on the manicure list, enter to win a "salon basket", and peruse the martini menu. It is extensive for this town and impressive. She ordered a chocolate something martini and I ordered a tequila sunset martini. If you're wondering why TEQUILA, go back in this blog to find my Vodka stories. Trust me, you'll understand.

Anyway, our drinks arrived and HOLY COW was it a generous pour! Now, I mentioned in this blog that the Mud Lounge wine pours were generous, but it seems to be a town trait. An EXCELLENT one at that!

While sipping our first martini, Blondie and I got called for our manicures. Not only did they do the polish, but we also got a hand massage! AND, they passed out a free product and a coupon for 50% off any salon service! Now, the ladies reading this will get how big a deal that is, but gentlemen - imagine paying half for a green fees or half for tickets to a sporting event. Yeah, that kind of big deal.

So I got my nails done in a fabulous red (for heaven's sake, it was FREE) and returned to the table to order another round.

Blondie and I were then encouraged by our very gregarious and enthusiastic waiter to try the spinach dip. What the hell? So on his suggestion, we split one and frankly, it was one of the best spinach dips I've ever had. Of course, we had another round, too.

The evening progressed and then a live musician started to play. He was great! He played a lot of my favorite songs, and I have a pretty eclectic taste.

The waiter stopped by again, cleared the spinach dip, and asked if we wanted another. We said sure, and he rather coyly hinted that we weren't being very adventurous by ordering the same. So, we took the hint and ordered something different. My third pour was just as generous as my first pour. Impressive.

Well, the evening continued and Blondie and I enjoyed some lively conversation. At 8pm, the drawing for the basket was held (neither one of us won) and we decided it was time to settle the bill and head home.

Well, we got the bill . . . and get THIS: we each had three very good martinis, a manicure, and we split an excellent spinach dip and PAID . . . less than $15 a piece!!!!!

Needless to say, Blondie and I are going back in a couple of weeks.

I LOVE this town!

Running Much?

So, it has occurred to me that I haven't talked about running on this blog for some time. Strange seeing that it was created as such, but we all (all five of you that read it regularly) know that it has never been JUST a running blog.

So let me get back to the original intent for a post.

One reason I haven't mentioned my running much this summer is because there hasn't been much to mention! Seriously, I took some time off after the Half-Marathon in April and when I started back up, my leg was hurting me much like it did when I had my stress fracture. So I vowed to give it more rest and didn't really get back to the running until late June.

But then it was like I had never run before. Seriously. I could hardly get in two miles without getting light-headed or seriously winded. It was wildly frustrating and strange.

Now I mentioned, I think, I saw my acupuncturist in DC and she prescribed some herbs for me as I am blood deficient. Well, I have been taking them since my detox and I think they are making a difference!

I have been running four miles regularly with the dogs and, though we are going slower than I used to run, I am able to complete the mileage without wanting to collapse or faint. Last weekend I ran the four with Stella and Zoe and put them in the car to run two more. I got in SIX! That is a serious accomplishment considering my fatigue just a month ago.

So tomorrow, weather permitting, I am off to run eight. I imagine I'll take the dogs for the first half and then run the route alone a second time.

Let's hope this is the start of a trend I can continue. I still want to run that Stump Jump in October. The hard part will be figuring out how to keep the maintenance runs going during the week. I teach at 9AM every day but Friday starting in two weeks. That being the case, if I want to run in the morning, I'm going to have to get up at 5AM in order to walk Buster before I run with Stella and Zoe.

Yuck. I hate getting up in the dark.

Still . . . if I don't do it early, it usually doesn't get done.

So here's to watching the sun rise! And to running happy again!

Looking For Love

So, I'm in a new town with a new job, a new car, new pets, and a new (to me anyway) home. So what's missing??

A new man!!!

Yeah. I'm starting to feel the loneliness of the past two years away from DC. My social life has definitely suffered and though my new job gives me access to lots of pretty boys, it is unwise for me to actually DATE them.

So I am looking for love.

Where does one look for love these days? I mean, I'm without a wing-man for the bar scene and my work is either the aforementioned off-limits boys, married men - also off-limits, or men in other departments that I have no way of meeting. SIGH.

So I am once again back on-line.

I debated going back to match.com. I had a lot of fun dating boys from match and though none "stuck," I did meet some pretty decent fellows. But it's so overwhelming! And with all the new changes and challenges facing me, I decided I needed a more select group from which to choose. Why not get the service to choose for me?!

So I have listed with eHarmony. I know . . . I don't seem the type . . . not in the sense that I'm looking specifically for marriage (which in the past is what I felt a lot of eHarmony men were looking for). But they do a pretty thorough screening process so that I'm not inundated with options. The questionnaire seems to give you a chance to be brutally honest so I don't have to worry about "marketing" myself. And was I honest!

In the past, I may have tried to temper my answers. No more. I am 40 years old and pretty secure in who and what I am. Take it or leave it, I say. I don't NEED to be in a relationship. I just enjoy the company of men and would like to have more options on a Saturday night than ordering take out and watching cable or going to see a movie by myself.

So it's another adventure to add to my growing list.

I'll let you know what I find!