Deat by Meeting and Other Stories

So Friday we had a "faculty retreat". Don't be fooled by the word retreat. It just means we had a very long, all-faculty meeting that wasn't in our usual building. But we were still on campus and it was still a meeting. It is this kind of thing that makes me really hate academia and question pursuing a career in it. What an incredible waste of time. Seriously, there is a reason it's called death by meeting!

Saturday morning I was busy preparing for my trip to KC and checked my e-mail early to retrieve an address. My friend the Fashionista (you know, the one with the chandelier in her closet?), recently moved and was planning on hosting cocktails before dinner. So there was a new e-mail from her address in my inbox, but as it turns out it was from her husband. The Fashionista's mother had passed away in the wee hours of the morning.

Though my trip was still on, it was now for entirely different reasons.

My friends are having a bad year of it. That's two mothers in less than six months. Now the Fashionista had told us her mother was ill, but I don't think any of us, especially my friend, was expecting to lose her so quickly in the end.

So I still took the trip, and we all still had dinner, but it was more to boost my friend than to celebrate all of us being together.

I did enjoy the hotel. I slept extremely well in the king size bed sans critters and got up early this morning to run and use the pool. I couldn't believe it when I had the place to myself. No cute boys in the hot tub, but frankly, I was quite pleased with that. I enjoyed over 20 minutes of soothing hot water and massaging jets before I returned to my room to shower and get ready for brunch. In fact, I had such a nice time, I may go back for the entire 3-day weekend over President's Day. I deserve it, damn it.

Brunch was a mind trip. I was back in my old hood . . . literally right next door to my childhood home I hadn't seen in probably a decade or more. I had dinner with my two best childhood friends, their spouses and children, their parents, and even a sibling and his family. It was WILD but really lovely catching up with everybody. I hope to see them again before another 10 years pass. I imagine I will.

After debating staying until Tuesday for the memorial service and deciding I could return if I wanted, I hit the road about 2pm. On the way home, I decided to stop in Osceola to check out this cheese shop I see advertised on billboards for miles and miles both north and south of town. It's a funky little place on the side of the highway, but you get to taste most of their cheeses for free (and those who know me know I can't pass on free cheese tastes!) and check out a bunch of other Osceola-made goods. I poked around for a good half hour and finally picked up a Gouda-goat cheese, some red pepper jelly (on the advice of a friend), a dip mix, and some peanut butter pretzels (I was a little peckish). I considered it an Artist Date and really enjoyed myself. Then I got back in my car and finished my trip home.

So I'm home now and trying to figure out if I should head back up tomorrow, extremely early Tuesday, or not at all. I really want to be there for my friend, but it will take its toll on my time-wise and with classes. So I'm going to sleep on it.

And that's it for now. Well, except that I still have no groceries in the house and dinner to figure out. SIGH. I wish I could just click my fuzzy pink slippers like Dorothy and be back at the hotel. Sadly, life doesn't imitate ALL art.

Deep Freeze

Damn it's cold outside! I realize I don't live in Wisconsin or Chicago or even Alaska . . . where I would die in cold like that . . . but for me, a high of 17 is bad enough.

In spite of the cold last night, my friends and I braved a night out to catch up and relax a little. We each seem to be experiencing a particularly difficult semester start so it was good to hang out a little.

Our "usual" spot, Tonic, was open but not serving food and no longer giving free manicures. BUMMER. We joked good-naturedly with the bored server (it was DEAD there - seriously, I think we were the ONLY customers) about the decline of the place and made some plans to eat elsewhere, but decided to have one drink there.

Our server, Dick (NO LIE, that's his name), was a cutie. He was a little older than the usual servers, but still young enough for my tastes, and very gregarious. I think he rather liked the attention of 5 women and pretty much hung out with us while we enjoyed our drinks. And once I had a few sips of my Southern Belle - a most amazing concoction of sweet tea infused vodka and lemonade (I know - I was drinking VODKA) introduced to us by the Artist, a South Carolina native - I could feel myself warming up. I think Dick noticed and he started flirting pretty fiercely with me. I sure loved the attention!

I know I have put off a relationship for the time being, but I do miss dating and all the good stuff that comes with it. I suppose I could compare the hold on dating a sort of deep freeze, too - an emotional one. So depending on my schedule and finding a wing man, I may return there sooner than later to thaw out a little.

Anyway, he finally bid us farewell and we finished the evening at Trolley's eating burgers and fries. It was a good night. Still, by the time I got home I was brain dead and pretty much just crashed.

At dinner, the Artist and I determined that it was going to be too cold to run at 5:30 in the morning. So this morning, I managed to get an extra half hour or so of sleep. I know it's cold when even the DOGS don't want to be outside. We took the shortest walk ever this morning. There was no dilly-dallying. The took care of their business and we were back in the house inside 20 minutes. CRAZY!

Tonight is supposed to get even COLDER. I know it won't last long, but frankly, I'm really tired of winter. I am tired of the cold, I am tired of the dark, I am tired of the brown and gray landscape. My mood definately reflects the landscape, or vice versa. I shut down in some ways over the winter. I want to hibernate from the deep freeze. But clearly there is a kind of deep freeze that lives in me each winter.

So I think tonight I'll light a fire, cuddle with the critters, and enjoy a glass of red wine to thaw myself out a little.

Happily Ever After?

Today was a pretty good day all in all.

I got up at 5 AM (my standard now), ran with the Artist and dogs at 5:30, wrote in my morning pages, showered, had breakfast and raced to campus.

My 9 AM class was freezing in the studio, but otherwise it was good time spent. They seem like a good group. Then I had one of the most productive days I've had on campus. SHOCKER! So, even though I still have to finish an online application for a job and I still have to finish a syllabus calendar, I got a LOT done. Just before my 3 PM class, I chatted online with the World Traveler. We got to talking and she may join The Artist Way cluster. Hurrah! We also chatted about our weekend plans.

This weekend I'm off to KC to visit some of my childhood friends. I honestly can't remember the last time we were ALL together (maybe one's wedding back in 1991 or so). CRAZY! But I told the World Traveler since I didn't really get a break over my break, I was staying in a hotel in KC with an indoor pool and jacuzzi. I was giving myself a little treat. She said something like, "Maybe there will be some cute guys in the jacuzzi with you . . ." and I replied, "God, I wish!"

Next thing I know she's telling me to hold on because she's going to draw me a Faerie Card. She was gifted the Faerie Cards when she was leaving for The Philippines. Those of you who have been following this blog since its inception might remember an entry from way back about the World Traveler and her Faerie Card cynicism. Boy did she learn! Anyway, from time to time, back when I lived in DC and worked for the Folger, my colleagues and I would have a problem, or decision, or even big event in our life and we would draw a card for "guidance."

So I was pretty excited to have one drawn on my behalf as it had been a while.

Well, the next thing I see on my IM is "OMG - HAPPILY EVER AFTER!" (or something close to that). Yup, the World Traveler had drawn me one of the best cards in the deck. Apparently, if I don't fight the current path I'm on, I'm going to live happily ever after (that's my sum up)!

So that got me to thinking about my life and winter of discontent. Was it just that I was fighting my current circumstances? So I promised the World Traveler I wouldn't worry about anything anymore (true, easier said than done, but there is power in just putting that out into the Universe) and I instantly felt . . . well, lighter!

So we wrapped up our IM conversation and I went off to teach. When I got back, I was called into the Department Head's office (sounds like I was called to the principal, doesn't it?). I went in and he told me that the faculty line search had been given a green light from the provost and I needed to schedule my interview!

Well, you could have knocked me over with a feather. I really figured I wouldn't know anything for at least another month! So, it looks like I'm officially interviewing in about 3 weeks.

And I'm trying to hold onto what the Faeries advised: not to sabotage my own success. So I am trying to keep an open mind about staying here (at least for the immediate future). Perhaps I am on the best course for me right now. Perhaps DC isn't the place I need to be - at this time - to live "happily ever after."

Now, nothing is certain and I still have lots of hoops to jump through. But it's nice to finally have ONE job in the hopper. And no matter what happens, I'll either KNOW I'm staying or going in short order.

So I get to run off to KC, pamper myself, look for those cute boys in the jacuzzi, and spend time with some dear friends without all this excess worry.

Who knows? Maybe I WILL live happily ever after!

Back To School

Today I went back to school.

I survived. It was very hectic and naturally fires were already needing to be put out. Funny that.

One of which is figuring out what to do about two of my cast members who did not make the GPA to participate in Oedipus. Unfortunately, one of them happens to be OEDIPUS. UGH.

Now what?

I think the acting area has decided he and the other student can petition the faculty and department head to be allowed to participate. But if he's denied, I have a plan. I just need to get going on it! Rehearsals begin in less than a month.

The rest of the week appears to be just as busy. UGH. At least my friends and I have plans to go out on Wednesday night as usual. I'm looking forward to reconnecting with them.

So, for now, it's back to business as usual. For now, it's back to school.

Enjoying a Big Glass of Wine (or is it Whine?)

So I got home about 30 minutes ago from my callback in St. Louis. I'm amazed I made it through the day.

I got out about 15 minutes later than I would have liked, but still in good time. The trip was easy enough . . . until I GOT there.

Silly me forgot to make certain the auditions were taking place at the theatre's "home address." It crossed my mind once en route, but I forged ahead with my misguided plan and got there a full hour before my audition.

But things didn't look right. There were no cars in the lot. There were no signs on the doors. It was impossibly quiet. I tried looking through my e-mail to see if I could find the posting and I even tried to look up actorsequity.org on my phone. Alas, my phone isn't GREAT at the world wide web and I was thwarted. So I gathered my things and tried the door.

Of course it was locked.

So 15 minutes have passed and I get back in my car and call the most trustworthy of men: my father. Fortunately, he was home and quickly jumped on the computer for me to search out my true destination. Now, my father is a DEAR man and pretty savvy when it comes to computers, but he never learned to type so he had to hunt and peck his way through the search. Meanwhile, the clock is ticking! Surprisingly, I remained calm and patient and sure enough, he found out where I was SUPPOSED to be.

He tells me the address and I have never been happier to have a GPS system for my car. I typed in the address and bid my fabulous father farewell as I drove off. Naturally, I had PASSED the real audition site about 7.5 miles back.

Why, when I am in a particular hurry, do I always hit every red light? Still, I have some cushion and I'm on my way so I relax and try to do a quick vocal warm-up in the car.

I manage to reach my final destination (in spite of missing one turn), with 18 minutes to my audition appointment. I run into the rehearsal hall, check in with the stage manager, and fill out my paper work. Just as I'm finishing that up, she says it will be just a few minutes. Sure, I reply and head to the bathroom.

As I'm EXITING the bathroom, the stage manager is on top of me telling me it's my turn. WHAT? But it's EARLY! Still, I say okay, gather my sides, and head in.

It's a friendly enough room . . . the artistic director (whom I know), the director (whom I've heard of), and two readers. We make our introductions, chat about mutual acquaintances (the director even says he saw me in a show in DC . . . but that he didn't really remember it . . . so maybe that wasn't so friendly . . . to be told you're utterly forgettable before an audition . . . still, it was around 8 years ago so maybe I shouldn't take it so personally . . . but I digress) and then I read. They laugh at the end, which always relaxes me, and he says I'm good and I should begin again to get all my beats. Yeah, I had been a bit unnerved at the top due to not even having time to collect myself. So I repeat it, they laugh again, and I am free to go.

Now, if you read yesterday's entry, you know I was struggling with a dilemma. My solution was to say I could not stay for the singing audition (and to be fair, it is a 3.5 hour drive and I have to teach tomorrow!). They didn't ask any questions about it and so I just walked out and hit the road again.

So I am BACK and I have decided to enjoy a big glass of wine, whine a little to all of you about my day, and forget about doing any more work. I realize this means tomorrow will be an early start. But frankly, I am ready to sit back, cuddle with my animals, and do NOTHING.

Actually, I won't be doing nothing . . . I think I'll get started on the Artist's Way (finally!). This morning I had a moment of "coincidence" (Julia Cameron will call it something else as I recall) so I'm wondering if the energy in my life is already moving around some.

So no more whining . . . well, for now. But I think I will help myself to some more wine!

Yes, It Was Indeed One of Those Days

Yesterday didn't get any better. In fact, it got worse. How is that possible?

After cleaning up the dog vomit, I finally made it to campus where I continued to work on my syllabi. I plowed through for about 5 hours non-stop. Well, that's not entirely true. I was interrupted by a colleague, our Lighting Guy, and he sat right down and said, "So what's the deal with your Facebook status?" I had listed that I was sending off some job apps the day before and apparently he noticed. I guess he's just as in the dark about my search as I am. So I explained to him what was going on and he generously offered to help me out if he could. That was the BEST part of my day.

As I was putting the finishing touches on ONE of my two syllabi that need to get done, my Dept. Head stops in with information on an independent film being cast. Now, I submitted to it (quite late - the deadline issue extends beyond academic jobs), and read they were casting extras on Saturday. Apparently I was wrong. They were casting THAT day, Friday. So he gave me the casting agency info (they're out of KC) and said I should stop by. WHAT? I haven't showered, they're session is almost over, and I have no clue what the project is about.

But being the glutton for punishment that I am, I couldn't shake off the idea, so I got my shit together and went to the call.

BIG MISTAKE.

First of all, it was an appointments only call. So I was crashing the party. The young assistant was very sweet and asked the folks INSIDE if I could read. They accommodated me with a role and I spent the next hour prepping it. When it was finally my turn to read, I was THIRD to LAST of the day, uninvited, and the casting team was exhausted. When I was invited into the room, they didn't even introduce themselves, hooked a mic up to me, and I was slating and reading. I read - ONCE - and was told I could leave. I thanked them for seeing me, but as I left I wondered why I had even bothered.

By this time it was nearly 6pm and I needed to get home to the critters and feed myself (I forgot to eat lunch so I was starving). Though I still had a ton of work to do, I was feeling so miserable, I poured myself a glass of wine and fed the animals.

Lucky me - it was the CAT'S turn to vomit.

Yup, moments after Beatrice finished up her dinner she vomited. She travels too, so I got to clean up the entire laundry room and throw a bunch of rugs, towels, and blankets in the washing machine. Such fun.

That's when I gave the day up. I couldn't face doing anything else except check some e-mail and watch some bad TV.

Today has started better, but I'm actually debating cancelling tomorrow's callback in St. Louis. I have loads of good reasons: I still have a syllabus to prep, I haven't found an accompanist and I won't be able to learn the song before tomorrow, I've hardly reviewed my sides (though I did the show three years ago, I would be reading for a different role), and I still haven't gotten to the grocery store. If I go, that means I will be gone for probably around 12 hours or more if you include the travel time, a little cushion time, and the two callback times. So the entire day will be devoted to a potentially crappy audition. And after yesterday's crappy audition, I'm not feeling "in my art" so to speak and I just can't handle another let down.

Obviously, the not being PREPARED for tomorrow is my biggest concern. Isn't it better to have NO audition, than an unprepared, BAD one???

So I'm freaking out. And I'm looking for advice.

Because I don't want tomorrow to be another one of those days!!!!!

One of Those Days?

A few minutes ago, as I was sitting at my computer enjoying my morning java and iTunes, contemplating the day ahead and determining it was going to be better than yesterday, I heard the sound all dog owners dread: the sound of a dog vomiting. And as I gathered my strength to face the mess, I wondered "Is it going to be one of those days?"

I got to the mess and found not only Stella eating the vomited partially digested remains of her breakfast, but Buster too. Once I pulled the dogs off and sent them outside, I had the fun of cleaning the mess.

Maybe it's just MY dogs, but for some reason they choose to vomit on my rugs instead of the hardwood floors. Mind you, I only have TWO area rugs and the rest of the house is hardwood floors or tiles. It's mind-boggling! And they TRAVEL when they vomit, so it's not just one area of rug I have to clean, it's four or five. LOVELY.

So the initial cleaning is done. I am now waiting for the Nature's Miracle to dry so I can then vacuum my little rug and then steam clean it. Now that is something I couldn't live without: my Bissell steam cleaner. Seriously. It has saved my rugs on more occasions than I can count. So in a few moments I will once again save my rug from the landfill with I think the best pet-related investment I have ever made.

Until then, I once again begin to contemplate my day. Yesterday, though somewhat productive, ended badly. I managed to get three job applications finished and mailed, but still have one that needs to be filed online and I am running into snags with the letters of rec. Most of you know I find the whole academic job search arcane and insane, but what is particularly aggravating to me is the fact that there is not one standard way to submit. Each school creates its own rules and regulations for their job application process and it drives me mad. For example, knowing I was going to be conducting another job hunt, rather than bother my references for letters all the time, I chose to have them write one letter and submit it Interfolio. Though costly for me (it costs $4 per letter to be sent, and most schools require a minimum of three), it seemed worth it to guarantee they were written and would arrive on time. As these are confidential letters of rec, I don't have a copy.

But some schools require you submit electronically. Now, I have finally scanned some documents that weren't uploading with their formatting, so I've managed to tackle THAT problem. But one school is now requiring these letters of rec be submitted with all of my other paperwork and I wonder how the hell I'm supposed to do that. I mean, these letters are confidential! How is it I'm supposed to have a copy to submit??? GRRRR. So, it looks like I need to go back to my amazing, kind references and bug them yet again. It pisses me off.

Still, I'm making progress. By the time I get my ducks in a row it will be summer and next job hunt they'll change or add another hurdle.

By the time I got home, I had a debilitating headache.

And what greeted me upon my return? Not one, but TWO chewed remotes: one for the TV, one for the cable box. Good God! I wanted to kill Stella, but my head hurt too much and I realized I was the dummy that left them on the trunk that serves as my coffee table. So, once again, I need to learn to be smarter than my dog. This, of course, means I need to go replace the cable remote AGAIN for another $25. Stella is doing her best to leave me penniless. I believe the counts go as following:

Stella 3, Remotes 0
Stella 3, pairs of shoes 0
Stella 4, dog beds 0
Stella 1, Extreme Kong 0
Stella 1, Sarah's pink boa sweater 0

There is much more, but I can't face the tally without crying in frustration.

Still, I'm keeping my sense of humor about it. I mean, maybe Stella eating the remote is the Universe's way of saying give up the cable. Believe me, it crossed my mind last night. And perhaps the boa sweater I thought was so fab really needed to be removed from my wardrobe. And perhaps the shoes were old (though I still grieve my Teva's).

Anyway, by the time I had dealt with the dogs and cats and my dinner, my headache was so bad I just went to bed.

So this morning, I had high hopes for a better day.

But the rug needs cleaning, I have two syllabi to finish, an accompanist to find, a song and scene to prep, and groceries to buy. SIGH.

It is going to be one of those days?

The Artist's Way

I'm sure those that know me are laughing at my title, knowing already I am ONCE AGAIN, travelling down the crazy path of the Artist's Way. I have been down this path numerous times and have yet to actually FINISH IT.

Well, laugh it up. It doesn't matter. In this winter of my discontent, I am needing something to ground me and lead me toward a happier, more fulfilling life. The Artist's Way has helped me each time I've pursued it, regardless of not finishing.

The closest I came to finishing was a good 7 or 8 years ago, I think. I was living the freelance actor life in DC and was unhappy with my lack of success. I returned to The Artist's Way out of desperation (as I recall) and it turned my life and career around.

So I am looking for a similar jump-start. And after a quick IM with a good friend, we decided to take the plunge together and meet online once a week to discuss our progress. Of course, with my current track record, I have my doubts, but none-the-less I am doing it now and that's a start.

The hardest part for me is MAKING the time to do the things that are required. As busy as I am, and with classes starting next week, I wonder how I can fit in the morning pages, the artist date, and the tasks on top of my teaching, directing, and what I hope will be a regular running schedule (oh yeah, and Stella's obedience training and my job hunt). WHEW.

Still, what I remember from my past experiences on this 12-step program for recovering artists (Julia Cameron's comparison, not mine!), is that it actually gets easier.

So I'm off on the journey yet again, hoping to find my way. Anybody else care to join me?

Getting the Motor Running

I just can't seem to get going! I got up, ran with the dogs, had some breakfast and coffee, showered, and am surprised to see it is already 10:35! How does this happen?

And though I managed to get several things done yesterday, I still have to finish my grocery shopping and pick up some stuff at Petsmart. Am I moving in slow motion or something?

Today I head off to campus. Ugh. As I was drying my hair, I started thinking of all the things on my list and felt my heart rate go way up. Not good. And before I go THERE, I need to stop by the mall (oh joy oh rapture) for a quick stop in Claire's. My last nose stud dropped onto the floor this morning and after searching for a good 15 minutes, I gave it up for lost. Once dropped, I almost NEVER find the little suckers.

I need a jump start! Any ideas?

Home Sweet Home

Okay, so I missed yesterday's update . . . but frankly after my 11 hour drive all I wanted to do was get settled back into the house, feed the critters, feed me, and CRASH. Which was pretty much all I did. Oh, and call some folks to let them know I was home.

Yesterday was a long day of driving. But, as PhD wished, the dog gate made a HUGE difference! Buster managed to weasel his way forward once, but when I stopped at a rest area to walk the dogs, I returned him to the back and plugged the "holes" he could escape through. From then on, all was quiet and safe. The cats were crated and, for the most part, all animals slept most of the trip.

So I am getting a slow start this Monday. I have taken the dogs to the park, finished unpacking, gone through the mail, and started my grocery list . . . but those aren't really even on my "to-do" list! And it's 11 AM. SIGH. Well, I decided yesterday that today would be my "take care of house things" day: unpacking, organizing for the upcoming year, grocery shopping, etc. So even though I am not moving quickly, I am moving in the right direction.

Tomorrow I return to campus. My list there is long and really must get done: respond to student grade complaints (pain in the ass - there are two of them), prep this coming semester's syllabi, plan for a conference I'm attending in March, and get back on the job hunt.

Though I'm mostly calm, I am starting to get a little concerned. I didn't make the finalist list for a job in Connecticut . . . so that has me concerned. And I still haven't heard from the others. Plus, with all the craziness this semester, I've missed some deadlines. So I really MUST get my act together and get some applications in! That will be later in the week.

I also need to prep for my callback in St. Louis. That happens on Sunday. I'm a bit nervous . . . it has been some time since I've auditioned! But I'm looking forward to seeing the fight guy and just exercising my audition muscle.

Finally, I need to spend some time with my Oedipus translation! I mean, I go into rehearsal in a MONTH. I am not even close to ready. Still, I know I'll get there . . . I just need the time and quiet to do it.

But that's all in the days to come. For now, I am just happy I am home in my sweet home.

Heading Home

My time in Atlanta has come to an end. H (recently renamed Whole Wheat) is gaining strength daily and after a brief discussion, we determined it would be fine for me to leave.

Though I am sad to leave the family, it will be good to get home. I have a long "to-do" list and only five days in which to do it. I'll be busy this coming week.

But I can get the critters back home and back to their routine (though Stella is going to really miss the kids - I could use a kid or two back home just to wear her out!). And I can get on my own new routine, too. So heading home is good. If only I didn't have the 12 hour drive between here and there!

Limbo

Another quiet morning in Atlanta. My brother is at work and most of the kids are still sleeping (my niece was awakened by Stella this morning - it's really cute how tight they've become). I think H may be padding around now . . . at least I saw their dog outside so that's the assumption I've made.

It's raining here today. SIGH. I'm bummed as I was looking forward to a nice long walk this morning. But I'm going to hold off and see if the rain doesn't let up.

My brother and I had a great hike yesterday. They live really near a FABULOUS network of bike paths in the woods and we've been visiting there regularly since my arrival. It makes me really miss DC and Rock Creek Park. My new home has nothing like that anywhere nearby. Certainly there are hiking trails, but none that are easily accessed. That's another reason I'm not sure staying where I am is a good idea. Not that I even have that option at this point, but as a finalist for this "on hold" position, I do need to really consider what it would mean to say yes to stay there.

I realize nothing is permanent - LOL - I'm the QUEEN of nothing is permanent! Still, should I say yes to this position I imagine I would want to put in a few years. At my age, a few years seems like a long time . . . can I afford it?

The natural surroundings aren't the only reason I debate staying. I miss urban living so much. It's nearly a physical want now. And I'm far away from all the people who are truly important in my life: my family and my closest friends.

I also think about the fact that I am three hours away from any real artistic community and that makes the tenure process extremely difficult. SIGH. Yes, I'm putting the cart before the horse, but one needs to sit on all these things at this stage in the game.

I've applied to a position at a university near my beloved DC and am bummed I haven't heard anything. Of course, they may also be dealing with the economic downturn and have had to put their search on hold, too. In fact, I haven't heard from any other place to which I've applied! This concerns me because by this time last year I had conducted a few phone interviews, had visited one campus, and was scheduled to visit one more. I wonder if the market is especially competitive this year because of the economy and I'm just not as desirable a commodity or if everything has just paused.

So I remain in limbo, continue to search for positions, and wonder what the future will hold. I am remaining positive however! Limbo isn't a bad place to be if you think of it as a place full of potential!

Clean Slate

Well, I am dismayed at how long it has been since my last post . . . but the end of 2008 was a wild ride.

I hosted my friend K and several colleagues for Turkey Day and though it was pleasant, I missed my DC Thanksgivings desperately. My reasons are pretty silly and petulant, but suffice to say it just wasn't the same crowd and nobody here knew "the rules" (which is just to say the day was completely different than how it evolved in DC). Seeing K and catching up with her was truly the highlight of the break.

A few days after Turkey Day, I found ANOTHER stray. Yup. My third since moving to my new home. Well, he was a MESS, but I got him cleaned up and promptly fell in love with him. One of my students said he looked like a cute little Wilford Brimley - he had a name! Though I adored this little shih-tzu, I knew I couldn't keep him so I spent the next three weeks trying to find Brimley a new home. In the end, I found a home for him at in Stella's new obedience class. I hated to let him go . . . I still miss the little fella . . . but I believe he has found a very good home and for that I am grateful.

Of course, the end of the semester is nutty anyway, and to make it even crazier, I held auditions for Oedipus which I'm directing in the spring. So the last three nights of official class days, I was dealing with being a director. It was fun, but exhausting.

When I got home late the final night of auditions, there was a cryptic message on my voice mail left by my mother. You know the kind, left in a serious tone that says nothing other than she needed to speak to me about something and I should call "no matter what time." That's never good. So I call and wake up both my mother and father and am told that my sister-in-law, H, is in the hospital with double pneumonia and "a kidney problem." Ugh. So I hang up, thankful she's being cared for but concerned for her, my brother, and their kids.

The next day, a dead day on campus and also my birthday, I spent in meetings and on the phone trying to get information on H. One of her lungs had collapsed and that "kidney problem" was actually early renal failure so she was placed on a ventilator and went into a long sleep. She was VERY ILL. I also heard that the job search, for which I am a finalist, is now on an indefinite hold, and the funding I had to go spend a week on at my Alexander training center was pulled. SIGH. Happy Birthday, huh? So far, I'm not impressed with the birthdays in my 40s!

The next week was really a blur of finals, grading, and staying up to date on H's condition. Once grades were in, I cleaned my house, got all my dogs groomed (the fleas are STILL persisting - AAAAHHH), packed, and left for Atlanta to be with my brother and his family. On the nearly 12 hour drive to Atlanta (with THREE DOGS and TWO CATS mind you), I got a text message from my brother that said something like, "the surgery went well." HUH? My reply was, "surgery"?! Come to find out, the docs went in and scraped the infection off H's lung. Gross, but good. Of course, there was a lot more going on with H that I've skipped over - stints and draining fluid and weaning her from the ventilator - but that would take too long.

I arrived in Atlanta wiped out from the drive (the dogs were NUTS, especially Zoe who is normally a very good traveler. I have purchased a dog gate for the return trip, if that tells you anything) but glad to be at ground zero.

The next day, I visited H and got to be there when they transferred her out of ICU - woot! From there, it was a short day of recovery and she was sent home on Christmas Eve. Surely the best present for my family!

So I've been in Atlanta since then. It's been quite a visit with 4 dogs, 2 cats, 3 kids, 3 grandparents, and a patient! My folks left the weekend after Christmas and H's mom left just a short while ago.

The kids are still sleeping off their New Year "celebration" - watching space chimps, drinking three soda's, and staying up to see the ball drop - so the office is quiet and I have time to consider the year ahead.

I'm not so good at resolutions. If I make them, I always feel badly when I don't see them through. Still, one likes to think about the potential that lies in a new year. It's kind of like a clean slate or a "do-over", isn't it?

So, were I to make some resolutions for 2009 (I'm still struggling to fathom nine years have passed since I rang in 2000), these might be a sampling:

1. Work - well, first, FIND some for when this job is up in May. But also get organized and embrace being in academia. A part of me has resisted this move to academia . . . and it's time to let that go and embrace being an educator.

2. Social - in spite of my lack of love life, I'm going off match.com and eHarmony. Today in fact. I just don't have the time to devote to the search. And to be perfectly honest, it isn't as much fun as it used to be. It feels too much like work! Still, I will remain optimistic that SOMETHING will change for me in 2009.

3. Fitness - the good news is, my running partner, the artist, is still committed to running! And I have gone running with my brother here. So I just need to find a few races to register for . . . starting small with the artist (she has never run a race longer than 5K) and ending with what I hope will be another marathon. Hula Ladies - name some races 'cause I want to go somewhere!

4. Travel - speaking of GOING somewhere . . . it is time for a big trip to some place exotic. And that doesn't mean it has to be warm and tropical - exotic could be Russia!

5. Health - well, what this really boils down to is shopping better and cooking more. I'm not sure how that will play out once I go into rehearsal for Oedipus, but we'll see.

6. Friends - I want to stay in touch more actively! And I need to plan visits . . . lots of visits. Also, lifestudent mentioned in her blog a while back about a site that supports daily blogging. Now, based on my track record most of you will LAUGH at the thought of my blogging daily, but I'm putting it out there. Keep me honest, friends.

7. Art - well, as my work is now in academia, it is time to think of my professional performing as art. True, art rarely happens, but I'm thinking a twist on how I think about it may breathe new life into a stale, stagnant "career". I am making early strides . . . I have a callback in just over a week in St. Louis and I have been chosen to be an actor at the Mid-America Theatre Conference in March. I will be working with a playwright, director, dramaturg, and other actors on a new work. I am really looking forward to it!

So that's about it . . . no out and out RESOLUTIONS per se, but some ideas about approaching this new year, this clean slate, with new energy and enthusiasm.