Why do I do this to myself?
When the department administrative assistant e-mailed the interview itineraries for both me and the other candidate, I chose NOT to investigate the other candidate. I figured ignorance is bliss and I would be better off in my interview not knowing what I was up against.
I was right.
'Cause today I decided to investigate. And now I am convinced I won't get the job. This woman has a much stronger "pedigree", loads of professional experience, AND has been the head of her own area when she's been teaching. Her skill set is far superior to mind for what the department needs and I'm wondering how the hell I even made it to candidate. Oh yeah . . . by law don't the HAVE to invite the internal candidate???
SIGH. So I spent the rest of the day, beating myself over the head and convincing myself that I'd be leaving this red state in the middle of the country.
Not that that would kill me . . . or even disappoint me, really . . . but it does have an impact on my self-esteem. So my confidence level tanked just as I was preparing to start rehearsals for a HUGE show. Even my classes were a bit wonky today. UGH.
So just when I'm feeling especially low and tired (I was up at 4:30 AM with the dogs), I get the mail. I see a very slim envelope from another school to which I applied and, as I'm tearing into it, I assume I got the big SORRY.
Well, I'll be damned if I didn't make the first cut!!! Sure, this is by no means an invitation to campus, but I've been so worried I wasn't competitive that I had given up all hope any other school would be even remotely interested. Surprise! My paperwork is still working on some level. So that was a nice bright spot in my day.
That and my mom's valentine card. :)
So what is it about us that makes us do that which we know isn't smart, or good for us? I had made a choice to ignore the other candidate for this posting, but in the end, curiosity killed this cat. I just couldn't avoid the temptation. I just HAD to know.
This woman, at least on paper, ROCKS. And should the university here offer ME the job, I just may lose all respect for them. 'Cause if you compare us on paper, there's no question who should get the gig.
It kinda makes me want to go watch her teach. Yeah, this cat has a big problem.
BOOK/A TABLE - Shepherd's Pie
4 days ago
3 comments:
Having now participated in the crazy search process on both sides of the equation, "looks good on paper" can be one of the most damning phrases for a candidate. Search committees are looking for the best "fit"--and that includes how people play with others.
Actually, you're in the best position: you've had the opportunity to show these folks your skills and your collegiality--and if they decide the other way, then obviously, it says more (or at least as much) about them.
And NO. They are not required by law to move the internal candidate on to the final phase. They have to use the same rubric when evaluating an internal candidate as an external one--and that's why you had to go through the crazy phone interview process, too. All things equal.
So enjoy the moment you're in right now, and stopping borrowing trouble! ;-)
...I agree with the Phd above...(even though I'm only a MFA like you!). And rmemeber, looking good on paper really doesn't mean anything when it comes to the classroom. And it means even less in dealing with the real "real" world. I once watched a class being taught by an old Method student who had taught at the Studio here in NYC and was shocked at the class and drivel that came out of her mouth. And I was only at the end of my first year in graudate school. Her class was a mess, though I'm certain she had plenty of credits and looked good "on paper." So enjoy being where you are for the nonce and know that you'll rock wherever you go and whatever you do!
PS - those strays looks very sweet...Wish we could take them...let us know if you need any help!
Brian
If a department is trying to make a name for itself, or compete somehow on reputation ... whats on paper is important. They want a big name affiliated with their department and/or school.
If the school/department is pretty happy with where they stand and dont feel like some sort of statement is in order, then whats on paper just gets you in the door. They look for fit - if your teaching philosophies are in sync, if they think you would play nice with others, etc ;)
Since they've seen you in action, I'd say you have a great chance because you have already demonstrated to them some of the things that are pretty hard to judge by looking at a piece of paper!
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