Cat Containment

This morning I installed what I hope will be a functional cat containment system for Henry.

King Henry. King Henry the Hunter. King Henry the Big Game Hunter.

Yes, I said Big Game. You see, over time his kills have gotten bigger and bigger. There was a series of days not long ago when he brought home bunnies. He started with baby bunnies and the next thing I know he's bringing back bunnies as big as he is!

The final straw was finding the be-headed bunny body in the yard. The time had come to find a way to KEEP him in the yard and save the wildlife in the neighborhood.

So I went out and bought a dog track system. Yeah, I know it's a DOG track, but if I asked for a cat track I'd get laughed at - the just don't exist. It's pretty long and has flexibility so Henry actually gets a decent amount of roaming space. I considered a dog run, but as I have only one tree in the yard and my house is siding, it was impractical. So I found something that will put me, and my pet-sitter, at ease.

I don't know how Henry will take it. This morning, just in the time it has taken to install the thing (which wasn't very long, thank you very much), he killed a mouse and a bird. And those are just the ones he brought home. To be fair, though, I think he brings ALL his kills home. He's quite proud of them.

I don't imagine I'll use the containment system ALL the time. Probably most week mornings when I can't spend extra time waiting on him to return home (even though he's pretty good about coming when I call him). And probably as the daylight hours get shorter, he'll spend more time tethered.

SIGH. I know it goes against his nature . . . he is a hunter in his heart and he's quite good at it. I also understand "survival of the fittest." It just seems the balance is tipped in his favor and we don't get many birds (or squirrels, or any wildlife for that matter) in our yard anymore. I'll let him hunt on occasion . . . but maybe this way the birds and bunnies will have a fighting chance.

Now . . . I just need to get the harness on him.

Pop Quiz

Today I was one of those teachers.

Yeah, one of those teachers who knows the majority of her students aren't reading the material assigned (or if they are, not with any retention) and to test her theory gives a pop quiz.

They bombed.

Does it make me feel good? Not at all! I don't enjoy giving quizzes and making them feel badly, but I needed to make a point. The reading isn't negotiable. The material is important and worth their thoughtful consideration. I think I got their attention.

I gave the quiz at the top of class and man were they invested in the rest of the class!

Of course, it makes me sad it has to come to that. I'll admit, I slacked off on reading assignments when I was an undergrad - I remember what it was like. But I chose carefully what I didn't read! I use a good deal of the vocabulary from the book, and when I first introduce a word in class I either define it or ask them to define it. However, I don't LECTURE from the book. I USE the ideas presented in the book in exercises and in class projects. So - duh! - you gotta read it and understand it to even know what the heck I'm talking about!

SIGH.

What really gets me is I don't give them an inordinate amount of homework. AND, aside from me announcing the reading is due, it is clearly outlined on the syllabus. Frankly, I think they have it easy on the homework scale. But the material isn't a cake-walk (like so many seem to believe and therefore choose the class).

I think I've decided to change the syllabus for next semester. Though it means more work for me, I'm going to give regular quizzes in conjunction with the reading. Perhaps that will solve the problem.

But I'm getting ahead of myself a bit here . . .

At least I'm learning and adapting with each new class. I like that part of repeating classes. I don't have to come up with a completely new prep, but I can make changes - get rid of things that don't appear to work and add things I hope will. It's kind of fun to think of fine-tuning the class each semester.

Yeah, I actually put the word fun with my job.

I admit, I'm not sure academia is for me. I love being in the classroom, but I despise grading, meetings, most committee work, and the political posturing and games. So . . . much of the time there is more pain associated with my job than not. But it IS getting better. Or maybe I'm just handling it better.

Now, please put your books away and take out a pen or pencil.

Back on the Boards, Baby!

Believe it or not. I hardly believe it myself.

Yes, I'm getting back on the boards. It's all a bit crazy and though I'm very excited, I'm also very nervous.

'Cause my next show is for the University. Yup . . . the University. The same University that has been the source of much unhappiness for me these past six months.

It's a bit of a whirlwind and only just happened, but let me tell you the story.

So every year our department produces a play that is written by, or tells the story of, an under-represented population. This year we are doing a Native American play - a really fascinating piece called The Unnatural and Accidental Women. I wouldn't call it an easy play, in form or content; its a surrealist dramatization of a thirty-year murder case involving a large number of Native American women.

Normally, at least one role in this production slot is filled by a community member. And the director looked and looked but wasn't happy with the auditions. At a casting meeting earlier this semester, the director expressed her woes and said she would gladly cast a number of the women sitting around the table (all faculty) - and then looked directly at me and said something along the lines of, "In fact, I'm looking right at a person I would cast right now." Now, she had seen me audition in December as she was directing for a summer gig I wanted, and had told me then she really liked my work so I wasn't floored, but I was surprised.

Considering the political situation I find myself in on campus, I just smiled at her (not wanting to inflame The Wicked Witch of the Midwest who was among those present). However, the next day I sent her an e-mail letting her know, though I didn't show it at the meeting, I would be pleased to read for the role she was having trouble casting. She replied she was happy to know that and would get back to me.

Well, she finally did on Thursday. She found me in the doorway of another colleague's office and whisked me away to her office to offer me the role outright. I accepted on the condition that she okayed it with my union (didn't want to shoot myself in the foot) and after a phone call and signing a letter the deal was sealed.

SO . . . I will once again be an ACTOR. I am THRILLED. And TERRIFIED. I mean . . . my job is tenuous enough but now The Wicked Witch is pissed off and I have to "prove" myself in my craft. WHEW. I absolutely cannot suck.

The role isn't huge (thank God), but is important as she is lends strength, humor, love, and patience to the piece.

Oh, and I have to be naked.

Okay, NEARLY naked. Naked enough.

No pressure - NONE AT ALL!

I'm not really worried about the naked part in the sense that I am comfortable being naked on stage. I'm less secure in how comfortable everyone else will be! I mean, I'm working with, and performing for my colleagues and students! So I am taking it on as an opportunity to be a model for what I teach in class: saying yes, active choice-making, vulnerability, professionalism, etc. I am hoping that is enough to keep me grounded through what could be a very nerve-wracking experience.

Because aside from my situation in the department and being naked in front of my students, I am also worried about serving a play about Native women (Cree specifically) as an obviously Caucasian woman. Yes, my hair will be dyed. And perhaps I will suggest brown contacts. But can I TRUTHFULLY represent this woman? I realize it is an actor's job to find a way using the tools she possesses, but there is an unfortunate irony here that doesn't escape me. How do I move past that to fill this woman's shoes?

Oh wait, she's not wearing any shoes! Okay, poor display of humor . . . just another clear indication that I am not completely comfortable tackling this role. SIGH.

However, that won't stop me. In fact, it makes for an interesting class discussion!

So that's that. I'm back on the boards. And if you're not doing anything in December, come on by and see me (a LOT of me)! I'd welcome the feedback. Meegweetch.

Diagnosis and Dinner

Okay, so let's get the medical stuff out of the way first.

I had an x-ray taken and then met with Dr. W. Sure enough, you could see the fracture plain as day now that it's healing. Bizarre. Anyway, he tested the fracture with some pressure and it still hurts pretty badly in some places so I'm not out of the woods yet. I have to wear the boot for FOUR more weeks - yup, four. The good news is, I can now start to wean myself from the boot through the course of the day.

Yesterday, I liberated my leg to teach my movement class. It was fabulous! Sure, the leg is a little tender but I wasn't doing anything strenuous and was amazed at what a difference it makes to be rid of the boat on my leg. I will continue to make those kind of choices over the next four weeks and will see Dr. W. again in three. I'm on my way.

Now, dinner in the title refers to getting together with a Gentleman I hadn't seen in six years! Believe it or not, he was passing through this wasteland. He was an undergrad when I was in grad . . . handsome, fun, and all around nice guy. I'm happy to report he still is all of those things.

Anyway, he was passing through with his lady on his way home to LA (yeah, he's an actor) and we met up for some margaritas and Mexican food. His lady's sister-in-law joined us as she and her husband live in town. It was a little surreal to be perfectly honest.

I mean, the Gentleman was as wonderful as ever . . . but it wasn't easy catching up with two complete strangers (to me, anyway) with us. His lady is very nice, but appeared weary - either from her travels or from the chitchat - and I felt kinda bad. But I also really wanted to visit with him and I only had that one chance after six years.

Needless to say, we parted ways after a relative quick meal - just two hours. I see my colleague the Fight Guy regularly and our dinners often last hours and hours! I admit, I was a bummed out. I can't say why exactly. It's not like I'm close to the Gentleman. But I do consider him a friend and it seems strange to say good-bye after so short a visit. I suppose that feeling is intensified by the fact that I get FEW visitors. AND, we shared only ONE pitcher of ritas among the four of us! THAT'S NUTS!!!

So that's that. Meanwhile, my 15-year-old nephew is enjoying a week long WINE FESTIVAL in Spain!!! What is wrong with this picture????

Das Boot

Yeah, I know it means The Boat . . . not the cast . . . but frankly it feels about as big as a damn u-boat!

Sure, I laugh about it with friends and colleagues, but to tell the truth, it's driving me crazy. It's big and clumsy and is throwing my alignment completely out of whack. I wear a shoe that's as close as possible to the same size heel on my other foot, but of course it's not perfect and by the end of each day my back is sore and I'm exhausted. True, I am on my feet nearly the entire day, but it never use to make me feel like this.

Every day somebody asks me how much longer and the real answer is I just don't know, but I usually say, "Hopefully by October." The good news is, by tomorrow I may just have a definitive answer for them.

Tomorrow, I go in for a follow up x-ray and consultation with the orthopedist. They are going to take an x-ray to see if it's healing (apparently, calcification from healing shows up on x-rays unlike the fracture itself) and I get to chat with Dr. W. I am hoping for the best and that I WILL be completely free of this boat, I mean boot, by October.

As healing goes, I appreciate I have it pretty easy. I don't have to use crutches, I can take the cast off at night and sleep well, I haven't needed any pins or screws put into my leg, and as it's my left leg I can still drive. So I am deeply grateful for all that I can still do.

On the other hand, it's funny what we take for granted as healthy people. Right now, my entire leg and foot is immobilized. I lead warm-ups for my classes and I can't rotate my left ankle. Stairs are HARD WORK. Today, I nearly fell over just trying to demonstrate something in class as I can't balance very well. And I have a limited number of choices in my wardrobe that I can wear with this thing on my leg.

So I must remind myself daily of all that is good about Das Boot. And be grateful it isn't permanent. Cause as of today, I have "unofficially" chosen Alaska as my next race!

Wonders Never Cease

Okay . . . so it has been a tough time. I am struggling daily with being committed to this place. It has little to do with the job itself - I love being in the classroom and I generally like and respect the students here very much.

My difficulty comes from the toxic environment in which I work created by a select group of colleagues. Since last spring, this select group has made me feel unwelcome, disrespected, and unsupported. This group has made me doubt my teaching abilities and beyond that, my own self-worth. As if life in the Arts isn't difficult enough . . .

Anyway, this feeling hung like a dark cloud over the long weekend. My wonderful parents came to visit me and we had a pleasant time doing very little ('cause there isn't a lot to do here). However, the negativity that has been heaped upon me since April is clearly impacting how I interact with others. It makes me feel yucky . . . and yet I have trouble shaking it off and getting out of my funk.

Often, my students take care of that for me. Small breakthroughs, big breakthroughs, and even quiet comments made to me outside the classroom can make a HUGE difference in the kind of day I am having. For example, the other day I had a young man add my class (yes, he was late, but I let him in anyway). I was worried about him being behind, but he jumped right in and said YES in big ways to the work we were doing. After the class, he followed me to my office to get his syllabus and a homework assignment he missed and along the way he said something like, "I'm so glad I joined this class! I had a good time today and you are so funny. I can't wait to tell some of my friends about it." REALLY. I was blown away by his enthusiasm and what started as a day of struggle, ended as a day of lightness and joy.

Then there was another student who came to me expressing an interest in changing his major to theatre after only three classes! Though I'm sure he had wanted to be a theatre major from the time he was a freshman, he finally got the courage to say it out loud and do something about it. After discussing his options, I sent him on his merry way (and he truly appeared MERRY). The next day he stopped by my office and said he was transferring into a majors acting class and wondered if it would be okay for him to transfer into MINE as he felt really comfortable with me as an instructor. Of course I said yes and I'm eager to see him with his peers in a majors class tomorrow.

But today I got an honest, but good, shock. Between two of my classes, I had enough time to stop by the office and check my mail box. In there was an envelope from the Office of the Dean. I figured it was my renegotiated contract (done by the union and finally ratified last week) to sign. I opened the letter expecting as such and instead it was a letter informing me I had been awarded a Travel Grant! WHAT THE ???? REALLY? I applied for that thing with no real hope, but nothing ventured nothing gained. I don't get to go anywhere exotic . . . I applied for travel money to support my on-going certification process that requires I put 500+ miles a week on my car.

As I said, I had no real hope in getting it. It's done by the Dean and all the Directors of each School and of course seniority plays a big part. So I'm stunned and thrilled and FINALLY feel valued . . .

Wonders never cease.