e-disHarmony

Okay, so I've been on ONE date since joining eHarmony a while back. ONE. And that one date was not only my first with my "match," but also my last. SIGH.

Now, to be fair, some of the guys I've been communicating with live too far away for a casual date. But there was a guy in KC with whom I was chatting I thought had potential. We had even traded our outside e-mail addresses . . . but since then I haven't heard from him. I refuse to stalk the guy, but I did send him a couple short e-mails inquiring about him. NADA. What's the phrase? "He's just not that into you." So I've stopped trying.

So, even though I'm paid up through eHarmony for a freakin' year, I'm thinking about hiding my profile and giving match.com a shot again. I'm just tired of being lonely and alone. But I once again begin to wonder what I am doing "wrong." And I've been around this idea over and over, I know . . . I should be myself but clearly there is something about me that is keeping me single. Because the common denominator in all these communications and relationships is ME. So will going back to match.com make any difference? I just don't know.

And both sites are hard work. They take time. I'm willing to put in the time, but after a while you begin to wonder if it's worth it! Seriously. ONE date.

So what do you think. Do I expand my search? I realize finding a guy is a numbers game in some ways. As PhD (who, btw is now OFFICIALLY done - hurrah!) likes to say, more shots on goals, more goals.

But I am clearly not shooting well these days. Have I lost my touch? I used to be pretty good at being single. I met and dated lots of guys of all ages and backgrounds. But I'm not only being shot down online, but also "in person."

The other night, when my friends and I were celebrating the Writer's birthday, I left my phone number for our waiter at the hidden champagne bar. Nothin' - I got nothin'.

And it makes me worried about my job search and the possibility of my staying put here. Sure, nothing is guaranteed, but I think I have as good a shot as anybody at the tenure track gig here so if I get it, and choose to stay, am I dooming myself to a life of solitude?

Well, whatever. I'm not one to stand by and keep wondering. I'm nothing if not pro-active so I guess I'll invest some more money and join match.com again.

And there's some singles thing on campus this Friday. Maybe it's time to mingle with some male professors!

So if you're reading this and care, send me some good mojo!