Closed Doors

As I continue to struggle with the question, "What's next?", I returned to the AIDS Marathon Program to investigate their employment opportunities. I had applied to work there in 2000, and was offered my choice of 3 positions, but it required me to give up the theatre and at that time in my life I wasn't ready.

Time passes and people change and I am feeling I might be able to walk away from my life as an actor/director/professor so it doesn't hurt to LOOK.

In my search, I discovered the Washington, DC National Chapter closed it's doors in February of this year.

What?? How could this happen? What will the Whitman-Walker Clinic do without its support??

I am stunned and saddened. I ran two marathons through the program: my first Marine Corps Marathon, and Honolulu. And the DC program, at least when I was running, appeared to be very strong in numbers. And the thought of going back to DC in different job was appealing to me. But you can never go back, huh?

I was reminded of that another way this past week. I heard from my former housemate, the Lawyer, and she has purchased a home of her own and will be vacating the Pink House. I'm so sad! Of course, I am THRILLED for her - buying your own home is huge and exciting - but I am sad for me. I had secretly - or maybe not so secretly - wished I could go back to that house someday.

So the doors are closing in DC. I suppose I should take that as a sign. Many of my friends have left or will be leaving soon, so that dynamic has changed, too.

The good news is the AIDS Marathon Program still has offices in Chicago, Los Angeles, and San Francisco. So maybe I'll have to look into employment there. And naturally I will be looking at other teaching positions while I give another year of academia a try.

Of course, in the meantime, I will continue to audition. And as sad as the closing doors of the AIDS Marathon Program and the Pink House make me, the closed doors of the theatres are what really break my heart.