Tenure, Merit & Review - Oh My!

It is finally here. The time to turn in our dossiers for merit and review . . . even though there is no money for merit pay or promotion. It is right now that I question my new career choice.

For those of you who don't know, putting together your dossier is like documenting your life for the past twelve months in every conceivable way that would apply to your teaching, service, and creative/scholarly work.

It's kind of like scrap-booking academia style.

I'm quite serious. You must save every scrap of evidence that you have been productive for the year. And then you get to write about it! So you explain your value and then prove it with all your scraps of stuff.

It's like having to reapply for the job your in again - only much harder.

Now, I like my job and want to keep it, but this process makes me want to run screaming for the hills. Since this is my first attempt at my dossier, I have asked advice of tenured and those ahead of me in the tenure process for advice. What I get from each is as different as the individual I ask! I'm so frustrated.

I feel I have done a pretty good job at keeping track of my work, and then I look at a colleague's dossier (who, granted, went up for tenure just this past semester) and about have a heart attack. I read others' letters of application (yes, like I said, reapplying for my freaking job) and want to cry.

I know I just need to bite the bullet and get it done. I'm wasting time and energy fretting about it. But in spite of me saying "I don't care what the committee thinks," I do. I want to put a strong first foot forward and I don't want them worrying about my contributions in any area. I just resent the process and consequently avoid it.

Time is running out. They are due tomorrow so at some point today I'm going to have to just deal with it.

OH MY!