The Tax Man

I spent my weekend avoiding grading by doing my taxes. Hey - at least I was doing SOMETHING productive!

Anyway, I'm expecting a decent federal return and enough of a state return to pay to do my taxes through H&R Block online. Yeah . . . when my ex-boyfriend of 10 years finally stopped doing my taxes last year I turned to H&R Block.

My taxes tend to be very complicated. As a "qualified performing artist" I've had to file schedule Cs and long form 1040s and I've almost always had to file in multiple states. I usually have a combination of W-2s and 1099s and sometimes unemployment. So doing my own taxes was generally out of the question. And to make matters worse, I'm a LAZY "qualified performing artist" and don't keep the best of records. My poor ex! I don't know how he managed all those years.

So last year I entered the fray on my own and somehow managed to get them done. So after such a positive experience I returned to H&R Block to file again. Now, if you filed with Block the previous year, the computer asks you if you want to "import" last years file and then make changes as you go along. Well, I figured that would be far more laborious than just starting out fresh so I chose NOT to "import" last year's information. In hindsight I think I can say that was a big mistake.

I'm not even sure why I think that because as you file you don't get to see the entire form you're filling out to even know the direction your taxes are going. It's a little frustrating. So I finished my federal and had such a whopping return I figured there was NO WAY IN HELL it was correct. Besides, I didn't fill out a schedule C and I was certain that needed to be done. So I sort of started all over, only the Block computer won't let you start from the VERY beginning (a very good place to start) and import. Oh no! You are STUCK with doing your taxes fresh if you make that choice the first time.

So I went back and made a few changes here and there and finally found the "qualifying performing artist" bit and forged ahead filling out what I assumed were the forms I had always filled out. All was going well and when I finished, my return was more reasonable and I checked the box to have the computer review my return for mistakes. I get a big red notice that says something like "You don't qualify as a qualifying performing artist" or whatever it said and told me to go back and get rid of it!

What?

Yes, according to the Block computer, I am no longer an artist. Now, I've been wondering about that myself recently, but to have a damn computer tell you hurts.

It's true, I only had two outside gigs last year and the amount I made from them was ultimately quite small. But come on! I've spent my entire adult life filing this way and defining myself as such. How did this happen?

I moved to the Wasteland, that's how. Now, I know my friends will argue that my work at the University is artistic and creative and they are right. But there is something about the "outside" work that legitimizes me as an "artist:" to me, to the government, and to most of the world.

Boy oh boy. I have spent this year being an "educator." Not nearly as sexy, is it? SIGH.

So I went back and erased my "qualified performing artist" entries and filed without them. My return didn't really change much and the IRS has already accepted it so I'm not in any danger of an audit, but I'm still bummed out. I erased from my taxes a big part of who I am! How is that good?

Now I know the quote, "In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes" (thank you Ben Franklin). But I didn't think it would mean the death of my artistic life and I had no idea they would be so intricately linked!