0 for 2

Well, today I received official word from school #2 that I did not get hired. I'm not surprised, and to be honest, quite okay with not moving there . . . but it still hurts a little not to be chosen.

Don't get me wrong - I'm THRILLED to be a final candidate and know there are all sorts of reasons I might not get picked, but it would help to know specifically WHAT those reasons might be. Perhaps I could improve my interviewing skills and actually LAND a job.

And of course the timing sucks. I mean, I'm off to job interview #3 in less than a week and already a bit freaked out by it. It's a job I desperately want, but know I shouldn't want it because if I strike out there I'll be REALLY depressed. It's always better if you don't really care, isn't it?

So . . . I'm a little bummed and more than a little worried.

In the meantime, I've sent my stuff off to a school that didn't hire me but there's a new opening in the department and they asked me to apply. It's only a one-year gig . . . which has its pros and cons. Mostly cons 'cause it's not a place I'm dying to go to and I'm getting tired of moving. I know! ME! I'm kind of wanting to put down some roots someplace. The pro would probably be that I wouldn't have to go down to interview and considering my batting average that could be to my advantage.

I'm also waiting on two schools who checked my references (I even had a phone interview with one - of course that didn't go well AT ALL) to see if I've progressed to the next level or not. Man this is EXHAUSTING. And of course I keep looking online for jobs but things have slowed WAY down. I imagine they'll pick up again as people get hired at these places and leave their old jobs. Is this what it's like to be a free agent?

Job hunting this way is insane. I honestly don't completely understand the process.

In the meantime, I deal with the daily grind here. Some days are better than others and just a few moments ago a student of mine from last year popped his head in to say hello. He's a dear and asked if I was definitely leaving. I told him yes and he said he was very sad about it and that he and every student he's talked to will miss me. Well, I don't know about THAT, but it was a nice pick-me-up.

I suppose when I go off to my next interview, I need to hold onto that pick-me-up and know that wherever I land I can make a difference. Even if it's in just ONE life, you know? It's hard . . . I admit I have a big ego and there are those days I long to be a rock star - or maybe for this posting All-Star. It's not an easy dream to abandon . . . so I am often at war with myself about where to go and what to do. Yeah, deep down I still want to lead the glamorous life!

SIGH.

For now though I'd be thrilled to land job #3 in a town that's less glam and more earthy-crunchy. Hell, I'm a vegetarian. I can do organic. And my dog would LOVE it.

So here's to hitting one out of the park on Monday. Everybody say your prayers or Hail Marys or whatever it takes to hit this home run.

Batter up!