Jamaica, Mon!

In less than 24 hours I will be in Jamaica.

It can't get here fast enough! It has been a hellish few weeks making it to this point. And though it is nearly 8pm, I still can't see the light at the end of the tunnel.

I will be in rehearsal until 10:30pm, then I have to run to the 24-hour Walgreen's for toothpaste and gum, then get some cash, then go home to finish packing and prep my place for my pet sitter. WHEW! My flight leaves at 6:00 AM tomorrow which means I'll have to be up by 3:30 in order to have the time to take care of the critters, shower, and get to the airport. UGH. I have a feeling I'm looking at 3 hours of sleep if I'm lucky.

But it's all good because tomorrow at this time I hope to have a BIG drink in my hands, old friends by my side, and NO WORK for five days! I plan on sleeping, swimming, snorkeling, sailing, skiing, scuba diving, kayaking, eating and drinking my way through the long weekend. I can't wait.

For now though, I'm having trouble staying on my feet. In the past couple of weeks, I've had my morning classes 50 miles away, my afternoon classes here, and evening rehearsals. PLUS, silly me signed on to direct a 10-minute play for our playwright's workshop so I spent all of my "spare" time this weekend doing that! My one night off of rehearsal this week I teched the 10-minute play. Mrg.

So . . . if I can stay on my feet for the next few hours, then I can enjoy being "off my feet" for the next several days.

Jamaica or bust, Mon!

Working Weekend

So far, I have spent my weekend WORKING.

Not what I enjoy doing on my days off, but with my schedule getting tighter and tighter and with more and more to accomplish, it is a necessary evil.

Yesterday, after an hour and a half walk with Zoe on the trail (lovely!), I plopped myself down in front of my computer and worked on SEVEN job applications. Yup, seven. And to be honest, I'm really excited about some of them. There are two in Colorado, one in Montana, and another in Wyoming - all of which are exciting for different reasons. So it isn't all bad. However, academic job applications are labor intensive and it took me ALL day (with an interruption to eat lunch and an interruption to chat with a friend). WHEW. By 6pm I was exhausted and poured myself the first glass of wine I've had in three weeks! I then called PhD to catch up over a long distance happy hour. It was terrific chatting with her.

This morning, again after a long walk with Zoe (this time at the park), I finally went grocery shopping and was back at the computer paying bills (UGH, I am so broke). Soon, I will get to my grading and then I need to work on my script for tonight's rehearsal.

I have to say, rehearsal, though time consuming, is the high point of my days right now. It feels SO GOOD to be an actor again. I don't even know how to describe it. The play is challenging in good ways to me and I'm really enjoying working with this director. And though I have little interaction with all of the students in the cast, I'm enjoying their work as well. How I WISH I could be a full-time actor!!!! Well . . . should none of my job applications pan out, I'll consider it the Universe's way of telling me to give acting another shot.

Not much else to tell. My house is a mess and I need to do laundry . . . what's the priority? Grading or cleaning?

Tomorrow is another Monday and on top of the usual work I have, I need to get my tires checked and probably buy a couple. Yeah, with all my extra money.

So . . . so much for days OFF. Christmas is coming after all.

I AM A NOW A PARENTHETICAL THOUGHT

Yes, it's true. As of yesterday.

I opened my inbox to find a copy of next fall's teaching schedule. Eager to see what new ways the Wicked Witch of the Midwest could humiliate me, I scrolled down to the bottom of the schedule and saw this:

NTT (my name)

Yup. I have been reduced to parenthesis.

The Wicked Witch has once again, in her passive-aggressive manner, made it clear I will not be back next year.

And to add insult to injury ('cause what else is to be expected?), the schedule makes it IMPOSSIBLE to continue my professional certification in the Alexander Technique. Which is nuts because it was in the position posting when I applied that I be certified or be willing to become certified! It is my guess this was on purpose to make returning less appealing should our School Director override her feelings and offer me another year here (and that's even more unclear especially now that that the cat is out of the bag I'm looking for other work - he asked me outright in a "casual conversation"), and to thwart my artistic growth.

AND, not only do I get no upper level majors classes AGAIN (with the exception of movement), but I am also saddled with four classes AGAIN when the normal teaching load is three. I have only taught a regular load one semester. The Wicked Witch is working hard to help me fail.

SIGH. This place really is a "den of vipers," as the Fight Guy likes to say.

In the meantime, I am still working on job applications. I am struggling to find the time with my current schedule, but hope to crank some out this weekend. I have printed a bunch of new openings this past week and need to focus some attention on doing that.

Of course, a war wages inside of me: do I really want to be a full-time teacher? I am not sure I know that answer. Actually, that's a lie. I know I DON'T want to be a full-time teacher. I WANT to be a full-time ACTOR. Unfortunately, I don't know how to make that happen. I've had enough trouble even being a part-time actor.

So is this the next best thing? I think in some ways it is. Unless every place is as nasty as this one. Who needs this toxicity in their life?

SIGH.

If you have any answers, pass them along . . . parenthetically, of course.

Hot, Humid, and CANCELED

It's hard to believe . . . but yes, the Chicago Marathon was canceled about 3 1/2 hours into the race.

My heart goes out to the runners. All those people who trained so hard who won't have an "official" time.

Still . . . it was BLOODY HOT. And I was just standing there!

I don't quite know how to feel about it. I'm relieved I couldn't run. I have run three marathons in mid-80 degree weather and can sympathize with the masses. And you can't stop at just the air temperature - add in the humidity (something like 74% yesterday) and the 10 or more degree rise in body temperature and you're looking at trying to run 26.2 miles in what feels like over 100 degrees! Ugly. Painful. HELL.

And yet I'm really mad at the race officials. This weather had been predicted for several days. And regardless of what the race director says, there was a real lack or water along the route. Ask any runner who might have expected to finish in 4 or more hours. Coach P said he had no water for the first TWO water stops and then only ever other stop after that! WHAT? How does that happen??? There are a number of marathons who run in high heat regularly. They're prepared for it and they don't have to cancel.

I understand it is normally 20 - 30 degrees cooler this time of year in Chicago. That's no excuse. Any race director needs to be prepared for the worst - in either heat or cold.

As I left the course, I saw a group of spectators taking the water shortage into their own hands: they had purchased countless 10 gallon water jugs at a nearby grocery along with bunch of plastic cups and were handing water out to the runners. I heard this occurred at numerous places along the course. And the fire officials had opened up hydrants and were spraying the runners as they walked or slowly ran by.

Those poor runners!

I was standing at mile 25 and I was there early enough to see the elite runners fly by . . . but even they looked like they were working hard. In my 5 + hours on the course, I saw two runners go down and get medical attention. I was surprised it wasn't more, frankly. Nearly all looked miserable and before long the majority of them were walking. Come to find out it was because they had been informed the race was canceled and they should WALK the rest of the route. It was inspiring to see so many still determined to FINISH. It brought tears to my eyes.

And still so many didn't finish. Over three hundred were hospitalized. And that poor runner who collapsed and died. How awful for the family and friends . . . my heart aches for them.

I know several from Team in Training who were running their FIRST marathon. How disappointing to have your first be canceled! You never get your first back. We had one runner who had hoped to qualify for Boston . . . no way that was going to happen yesterday. I understand he's planning on running Columbus in two weeks to try again.

Still . . . without water I suppose they were smart to cancel.

So, the race has come and gone. The heat is still here (92 predicted today) . . . but expected to be gone tomorrow. Two days too late for 36,000 runners.

SIGH.

Alaska is looking better and better.

THERE IS NO FINISH LINE.

Marathon Weekend

This is the weekend of the Chicago Marathon.

I am sad I won't be running, but in a few hours I'm off to what I hope is my LAST meeting with Dr. W regarding my stress fracture. Keep your fingers crossed.

In spite of not being able to run, I'm heading up to Chicago anyway to cheer on my Teammates and play with my friend, G. I'm taking the train . . . even though I could drive, I decided not to fight the traffic and this way I can sleep or read en route there and back. It should be a nice change from my usual frantic trip up I-55.

Once there, G and I will hit the Expo. It will be the first time I go to an Expo and not pick up a packet, but I'm looking forward to being in the environment anyway. All those runners . . . hopefully it will inspire me to eventually get back in my shoes and running - in spite of the cold and dark (because come November, my only time to run will be around 5 AM). Plus, the Expos are famous for their free samples so I plan to stock up on mini-power bars and the like. And I'm going to get a whistle and make posters for my friends. One of my teammates is hoping to qualify for Boston. He's quick . . . and to be perfectly honest quite pretty. Wish I had been as fast as he is just to spend my Saturday mornings running with him! Yes, of course he's young. It's ME, remember? But I digress . . .

Saturday evening G and I are going to eat out. HUAH! I get to enjoy a meal out of town that isn't a chain. Okay, so I don't really go to the chains here . . . I pretty much don't go out to eat here. So I'm looking forward to a fun evening. I don't imagine G and I will close the town down, however. Normally I would be happy to do that, but we'll have an early morning on Sunday to claim our spot along the route.

Sunday is race day. I plan to park it around mile 25 with other Team In Training folks. G's back has been bugging her and with my leg still healing it is probably best not to race around to different points along the route (what I would do if I were healthy). So we'll go and hang out and watch all the similarly certifiable individuals stagger by with just over a mile to go.

I admit, I'm bummed. But maybe in the end I'll be relieved. It's going to be quite warm - high near 90 degrees - and I'm not a fan of running that distance in that kind of weather. Still, there may be a breeze off the lake so it might not be terrible. Hard to know.

Anyway, that's the plan. I'm getting the hell out of Dodge, even if it's only for 36 hours or so.

Wish the Hula Ladies could be here . . . it would have been fun to party Chicago-style with them.

I'm just holding on to turning those Hula Ladies into Eskimos. :)

And to all those Chicago bound this weekend planning to go the distance - run happy.

THERE IS NO FINISH LINE

Cat Containment Take Two

Why did I bother? Really, what was the point?

Within minutes, Henry was out of his HARNESS and enjoying the wide world of Founders Grove.

I will keep trying . . . but Henry is not only a hunter, he is also a Houdini.

SIGH.

I tried. Perhaps the universe is trying to tell me something. Any ideas on what that might be?

Cat Containment

This morning I installed what I hope will be a functional cat containment system for Henry.

King Henry. King Henry the Hunter. King Henry the Big Game Hunter.

Yes, I said Big Game. You see, over time his kills have gotten bigger and bigger. There was a series of days not long ago when he brought home bunnies. He started with baby bunnies and the next thing I know he's bringing back bunnies as big as he is!

The final straw was finding the be-headed bunny body in the yard. The time had come to find a way to KEEP him in the yard and save the wildlife in the neighborhood.

So I went out and bought a dog track system. Yeah, I know it's a DOG track, but if I asked for a cat track I'd get laughed at - the just don't exist. It's pretty long and has flexibility so Henry actually gets a decent amount of roaming space. I considered a dog run, but as I have only one tree in the yard and my house is siding, it was impractical. So I found something that will put me, and my pet-sitter, at ease.

I don't know how Henry will take it. This morning, just in the time it has taken to install the thing (which wasn't very long, thank you very much), he killed a mouse and a bird. And those are just the ones he brought home. To be fair, though, I think he brings ALL his kills home. He's quite proud of them.

I don't imagine I'll use the containment system ALL the time. Probably most week mornings when I can't spend extra time waiting on him to return home (even though he's pretty good about coming when I call him). And probably as the daylight hours get shorter, he'll spend more time tethered.

SIGH. I know it goes against his nature . . . he is a hunter in his heart and he's quite good at it. I also understand "survival of the fittest." It just seems the balance is tipped in his favor and we don't get many birds (or squirrels, or any wildlife for that matter) in our yard anymore. I'll let him hunt on occasion . . . but maybe this way the birds and bunnies will have a fighting chance.

Now . . . I just need to get the harness on him.

Pop Quiz

Today I was one of those teachers.

Yeah, one of those teachers who knows the majority of her students aren't reading the material assigned (or if they are, not with any retention) and to test her theory gives a pop quiz.

They bombed.

Does it make me feel good? Not at all! I don't enjoy giving quizzes and making them feel badly, but I needed to make a point. The reading isn't negotiable. The material is important and worth their thoughtful consideration. I think I got their attention.

I gave the quiz at the top of class and man were they invested in the rest of the class!

Of course, it makes me sad it has to come to that. I'll admit, I slacked off on reading assignments when I was an undergrad - I remember what it was like. But I chose carefully what I didn't read! I use a good deal of the vocabulary from the book, and when I first introduce a word in class I either define it or ask them to define it. However, I don't LECTURE from the book. I USE the ideas presented in the book in exercises and in class projects. So - duh! - you gotta read it and understand it to even know what the heck I'm talking about!

SIGH.

What really gets me is I don't give them an inordinate amount of homework. AND, aside from me announcing the reading is due, it is clearly outlined on the syllabus. Frankly, I think they have it easy on the homework scale. But the material isn't a cake-walk (like so many seem to believe and therefore choose the class).

I think I've decided to change the syllabus for next semester. Though it means more work for me, I'm going to give regular quizzes in conjunction with the reading. Perhaps that will solve the problem.

But I'm getting ahead of myself a bit here . . .

At least I'm learning and adapting with each new class. I like that part of repeating classes. I don't have to come up with a completely new prep, but I can make changes - get rid of things that don't appear to work and add things I hope will. It's kind of fun to think of fine-tuning the class each semester.

Yeah, I actually put the word fun with my job.

I admit, I'm not sure academia is for me. I love being in the classroom, but I despise grading, meetings, most committee work, and the political posturing and games. So . . . much of the time there is more pain associated with my job than not. But it IS getting better. Or maybe I'm just handling it better.

Now, please put your books away and take out a pen or pencil.

Back on the Boards, Baby!

Believe it or not. I hardly believe it myself.

Yes, I'm getting back on the boards. It's all a bit crazy and though I'm very excited, I'm also very nervous.

'Cause my next show is for the University. Yup . . . the University. The same University that has been the source of much unhappiness for me these past six months.

It's a bit of a whirlwind and only just happened, but let me tell you the story.

So every year our department produces a play that is written by, or tells the story of, an under-represented population. This year we are doing a Native American play - a really fascinating piece called The Unnatural and Accidental Women. I wouldn't call it an easy play, in form or content; its a surrealist dramatization of a thirty-year murder case involving a large number of Native American women.

Normally, at least one role in this production slot is filled by a community member. And the director looked and looked but wasn't happy with the auditions. At a casting meeting earlier this semester, the director expressed her woes and said she would gladly cast a number of the women sitting around the table (all faculty) - and then looked directly at me and said something along the lines of, "In fact, I'm looking right at a person I would cast right now." Now, she had seen me audition in December as she was directing for a summer gig I wanted, and had told me then she really liked my work so I wasn't floored, but I was surprised.

Considering the political situation I find myself in on campus, I just smiled at her (not wanting to inflame The Wicked Witch of the Midwest who was among those present). However, the next day I sent her an e-mail letting her know, though I didn't show it at the meeting, I would be pleased to read for the role she was having trouble casting. She replied she was happy to know that and would get back to me.

Well, she finally did on Thursday. She found me in the doorway of another colleague's office and whisked me away to her office to offer me the role outright. I accepted on the condition that she okayed it with my union (didn't want to shoot myself in the foot) and after a phone call and signing a letter the deal was sealed.

SO . . . I will once again be an ACTOR. I am THRILLED. And TERRIFIED. I mean . . . my job is tenuous enough but now The Wicked Witch is pissed off and I have to "prove" myself in my craft. WHEW. I absolutely cannot suck.

The role isn't huge (thank God), but is important as she is lends strength, humor, love, and patience to the piece.

Oh, and I have to be naked.

Okay, NEARLY naked. Naked enough.

No pressure - NONE AT ALL!

I'm not really worried about the naked part in the sense that I am comfortable being naked on stage. I'm less secure in how comfortable everyone else will be! I mean, I'm working with, and performing for my colleagues and students! So I am taking it on as an opportunity to be a model for what I teach in class: saying yes, active choice-making, vulnerability, professionalism, etc. I am hoping that is enough to keep me grounded through what could be a very nerve-wracking experience.

Because aside from my situation in the department and being naked in front of my students, I am also worried about serving a play about Native women (Cree specifically) as an obviously Caucasian woman. Yes, my hair will be dyed. And perhaps I will suggest brown contacts. But can I TRUTHFULLY represent this woman? I realize it is an actor's job to find a way using the tools she possesses, but there is an unfortunate irony here that doesn't escape me. How do I move past that to fill this woman's shoes?

Oh wait, she's not wearing any shoes! Okay, poor display of humor . . . just another clear indication that I am not completely comfortable tackling this role. SIGH.

However, that won't stop me. In fact, it makes for an interesting class discussion!

So that's that. I'm back on the boards. And if you're not doing anything in December, come on by and see me (a LOT of me)! I'd welcome the feedback. Meegweetch.

Diagnosis and Dinner

Okay, so let's get the medical stuff out of the way first.

I had an x-ray taken and then met with Dr. W. Sure enough, you could see the fracture plain as day now that it's healing. Bizarre. Anyway, he tested the fracture with some pressure and it still hurts pretty badly in some places so I'm not out of the woods yet. I have to wear the boot for FOUR more weeks - yup, four. The good news is, I can now start to wean myself from the boot through the course of the day.

Yesterday, I liberated my leg to teach my movement class. It was fabulous! Sure, the leg is a little tender but I wasn't doing anything strenuous and was amazed at what a difference it makes to be rid of the boat on my leg. I will continue to make those kind of choices over the next four weeks and will see Dr. W. again in three. I'm on my way.

Now, dinner in the title refers to getting together with a Gentleman I hadn't seen in six years! Believe it or not, he was passing through this wasteland. He was an undergrad when I was in grad . . . handsome, fun, and all around nice guy. I'm happy to report he still is all of those things.

Anyway, he was passing through with his lady on his way home to LA (yeah, he's an actor) and we met up for some margaritas and Mexican food. His lady's sister-in-law joined us as she and her husband live in town. It was a little surreal to be perfectly honest.

I mean, the Gentleman was as wonderful as ever . . . but it wasn't easy catching up with two complete strangers (to me, anyway) with us. His lady is very nice, but appeared weary - either from her travels or from the chitchat - and I felt kinda bad. But I also really wanted to visit with him and I only had that one chance after six years.

Needless to say, we parted ways after a relative quick meal - just two hours. I see my colleague the Fight Guy regularly and our dinners often last hours and hours! I admit, I was a bummed out. I can't say why exactly. It's not like I'm close to the Gentleman. But I do consider him a friend and it seems strange to say good-bye after so short a visit. I suppose that feeling is intensified by the fact that I get FEW visitors. AND, we shared only ONE pitcher of ritas among the four of us! THAT'S NUTS!!!

So that's that. Meanwhile, my 15-year-old nephew is enjoying a week long WINE FESTIVAL in Spain!!! What is wrong with this picture????