MAHALO A NUI

Well, I have sufficiently recovered from my jet lag (but am still feeling a little of the NOG party my friend and I threw last night) and wanted to take a moment out of my day to say mahalo a nui - thank you very much!

There are so many folks to thank that helped me cross the finish line: friends and family, donors, teammates, my acupuncturist, and those "strangers" who followed me along the way via this blog. I never would have made it without everybody.

East Coast Alaskan Girl wants to know when the next one is . . . well, there's a half-marathon in April I'm planning on running in Nashville. And my friends who went to Hawaii with me are already planning for Prague, Rio, Thailand, Paris, Maui, Florence, and we would be more than happy to return to Honolulu next year!!! Of course, I'm open to other suggestions so comment away!

Anyway, thank you everybody for all of your support! I will continue to keep the blog . . . after all, there is no finish line.

Unofficial Results

Well, I'm back on the mainland now . . . arrived at 6:30 this morning after a 22 hour trip. Leaving the 70 degree weather to come back to the remnants of an ice storm is pretty depressing. Tack on an audition at 11:30 and work until 9:30 and I'm not certain I'll be able to find my way home! WHEW.

So . . . get to the point, silly. THE MARATHON: It was hot and it was crowded. It wasn't my best run and it wasn't my worst run. I had moments of great joy and I had moments of great pain.

I finished. I got my medal, my shell necklace, and my t-shirt - but I didn't get any results. Really.

I have an idea what time I finished (about 4:45) based on how my Tegla Teammates finished, but I am the only one without an "official time." Perhaps my chip malfunctioned, but for some reason the universe decided that it didn't really matter. Hang loose, surfer girl - who cares about the time if you crossed the line! And you know, in Hawaii, I can really embrace that mentality!!!

What mattered in the end was I had three amazing friends there to cheer me on - and I got to see them three times along the route and again at the finish. What mattered was all of my teammates finished, too. What mattered was I had a terrific massage after, and then a bowl of guilt free ice cream. What mattered was, though my last three miles sucked, I was able to get up the next morning and learn to surf. What mattered was I then climbed Diamond Head. What mattered was I then celebrated my birthday (Hau'oli lahanau to me!) on a sunset Mai Tai booze cruise and a great dinner at Dukes.

What mattered was the amazing vacation I got with dear friends in a beautiful setting with perfect weather.

Who cares about TIME???

The only time I cared about TIME was when I had to leave.

So let's leave the time results UNofficial - fast, slow, win, or lose. And let's declare the trip an official WIN.

BUSTED

Yup. I was finally busted. By my Aunt L. who is a terrific supporter of my endeavor here. I received an e-mail from her today wondering if all was well as I hadn't posted an entry in several weeks.

The good news is: YES all is well. The bad news is: I've been LAZY. Not running lazy (not per se), but writing lazy. I just haven't had the energy to post anything.

It's been a busy time. Since my last post I finished my fight choreography for West Side Story, had two call-backs (all for nothin'), hosted 14 people for Thanksgiving (and ran the turkey trot, too), wrapped up one of my three jobs for the season, had two acupuncture appointments, applied for a teaching position, celebrated two birthdays, got sick (still fighting the ever-morphing bug) and continued my two jobs and animal care-taking.

Okay - excuses, excuses! Maybe the REAL reason I haven't written is because I'm afraid. There, I said it. I'm a little scared. I had a GREAT 26-mile run and now I feel pressure to have a GREAT marathon - self-imposed pressure of course. What if I let all these great people who helped me get to Honolulu down? What if I let my team down? What if I let MYSELF down? There is the biggest question of all . . . what IF I don't perform well on race day? As much as I say I'm embracing each race for what it is, don't we all enter "events" with certain hopes or expectations? I would be lying if I said I was completely open to any finishing time. If I run my worst time ever, how will I feel? I will be bummed. I will DEAL with it, but I won't be pleased or just happy to have finished. I will tell myself that and eventually I may believe it. The reality is, I want a good run. I want a strong run. I want a happy run.

I'm so afraid of FAILING. Stupid, I know. Finishing isn't failing, but tell that to my raging gremlin. So how to cope?

Well, I continue my acupuncture which really helps. I think of all the other things I'll do once in Hawaii (I even threatened my mother I'd come home with a tattoo - I still may do it!). I laugh and plan with my friends who are joining me. And I write in my blog that I'm afraid. And once again . . . I run. I run from the gremlin, I run from my fear, I run from all the things that trouble and upset me. And I run towards the finish line . . . and another race.

4 Weeks

Yup, in a short four weeks, I will be running the Honolulu Marathon. At exactly this time, in fact (if you consider the time difference).

Yes, it's a 5AM start and from what I learned on my 26 mile run yesterday, I'll be glad for it.

That's right. I ran 26 miles yesterday. I'm tired today, but I felt strong the entire run so I continue to feel very positive about race day.

Team Tegla had a guest with us yesterday and she really inspired me. She ran Honolulu last year so had all sorts of good advice about that particular marathon. We should be prepared for the heat once the sun rises (1/2 way into the race, by my calculation) and should definitely carry our water bottles and run with our walk ratio like we have been in training. Of course I always question that, but one reason she inspired me is because she ran Chicago recently and finished in 3:48 - with the walk ratio - and she's 44! I'm so impressed! So based on her advice, I believe most of Team Tegla will race together and race well.

I can't believe it's so close now. One of my friends is practically packed, she's so excited to go. I'm getting there, but all I can manage at this time is to put one foot in front of the other. Granted, yesterday's run was a big deal and helped me realize I'm that much closer and, ultimately, ready for it. Still, I have three animals to care for, a Thanksgiving to plan, and work to do before I can leave.

But let me tell you, once I get on that plane, I'm leaving it all behind me for six days and enjoying every moment of being free from responsibility. I can't WAIT to PLAY.

And play is just 4 weeks away.

Mind Games

Last week, sitting on the acupuncture table, I expressed my frustration about my missed maintenance runs to my acupuncturist. She's also a marathoner, and she cocked her head and wondered out loud why I should worry about it. The rest of the conversation went something like this:

Me: What? I HAVE to get my runs in!
Her: Why? Have you missed them before?
Me: Umm . . . (sheepishly) yes.
Her: Did anything bad happen? Did you have a bad long run after or something?
Me: No.
Her: Why then are you worried about it?

She brought up a good point. There was NOTHING in my history of running that should make me think missing some runs would be terrible. Naturally, it's not ideal, but would it lessen any of the progress I've made up to this point? NO.

It was that damn gremlin again making me worry. I was playing mind games.

So then I had to ask myself, why do I run? Sure there are plenty of benefits: it's fun, I can eat whatever I like (to a degree), I stay healthy and strong, I release stress, etc. In the end though, what is it that gets me out the door with my running shoes on?

In trying to answer that question, I found myself browsing Runner's World and back to John Bingham and this article. This man is my running guru!

As part of my final performance project in grad school, I used an ad from NIKE. It said:

A WOMAN IS OFTEN MEASURED BY THE THINGS SHE CANNOT CONTROL.
SHE IS MEASURED BY THE WAY HER BODY CURVES OR DOESN'T CURVE, BY
WHERE SHE IS FLAT OR STRAIGHT OR ROUND.
SHE IS MEASURED BY 36-24-36 AND INCHES AND AGES AND NUMBERS, BY ALL THE OUTSIDE THINGS THAT DON'T EVER ADD UP TO WHO SHE IS ON THE INSIDE.
AND SO IF A WOMAN IS TO BE MEASURED LET HER BE MEASURED BY THE THINGS SHE CAN CONTROL, BY WHO SHE IS AND WHO SHE IS TRYING TO BECOME.
BECAUSE AS EVERY WOMAN KNOWS, MEASUREMENTS ARE ONLY STATISTICS.
AND STATISTICS LIE.

Granted, it's an advertisement (written by a woman, at least), but I did like what it had to say about being measured by who was trying to become. So my guru's comment on potential really rings true with me. I run to realize my potential - as an athlete and as a woman.

Of course, unlike my guru, I don't accept what each day brings as easily as he does. But I'm working on it with the help of my acupuncturist, Team Tegla, and friends. So instead of MIND GAMES I can have an OPEN MIND. And hopefully, like my guru says, my soul will win every time.

Maintenance Malaise

I'm having trouble this week getting my maintenance runs in . . . and this is a critical time.

It's mostly because of Beatrice. I'm pretty tired caring for her and I have just found out she is ring-worm positive, so her recovery will take even longer than I originally planned. It looks as if she'll be around for another four months or so. SIGH. She's worth it, but she's so demanding of my time.

I have GOT to get out and run.

Of course, the whole daylight savings crap and extended work hours and cold temperatures don't help my enthusiasm. Don't get me wrong, I like cooler weather for running, but when I'm tired and I'm all cozy in my bed early in the morning, I just don't want to put on shorts and get moving.

I have got to get OUT and run.

My housemate leaves on Saturday for a month-long trial in NYC which means I'll have three animals to care for in the final weeks leading up to the marathon as well as juggling my three jobs. Throw the fight choreography for West Side Story and Thanksgiving at my house into the mix and I'm watching the time fly by!

I have got to get out and RUN.

It really is the only way for me to release some stress and deal with all of these things on my plate. You would think I would be better at making time for this. What happened to the evening running group you may ask? Well, one night I'm teaching and the other I am often working an event for my other job. So that's pretty much out for this month. I must get back to my morning routine.

I HAVE GOT TO GET OUT AND RUN!!!

Tomorrow is another day . . .

Pumpkin Carving

Last night I had some friends over to carve pumpkins in preparation for tonight - Halloween.

I have done this a couple of times in the past and I just love it. As adults, we forget how much fun it is to carve pumpkins. We're so busy going to costume parties and getting drunk we forget the pure and simple fun of plunging our bare hands into pumpkin guts.

There weren't many of us, which is often what happens, but we sure were creative. When the pumpkins were carved and lit it was really beautiful. We had three "traditional" jack-o-lanterns: one had a bat-shaped mouth, one looked like a samurai, and one was your CLASSIC cut. We also had a spider and a kitty cat (yes, that was mine, in honor of Beatrice's first Halloween). We set them out on the deck, all lit up, and oooed and ahhhed over them.

Then we dug into some FABULOUS food and wine and watched Silence of the Lambs. I had also rented Rear Window and The Ring, but we had two Lamb virgins so we opted to go for the suspenseful serial killer. It's such a great movie - no matter how many times I've seen it something surprises me.

Sadly, tonight I have to work, so I can't hand out candy and see all the neighborhood kiddies in their costumes. I'm disappointed. But at least I was able to get in the spooky spirit last night!

MCM

This morning I strolled down to the National Mall to join the throngs of spectators cheering on the Marine Corps Marathon participants. I had a blast.

I meant to follow my good friend and previous training partner's progress and catch up with him at a couple of points. When I didn't see him at the 12 mile marker in the time I expected him, I made a phone call to a good friend who was nice enough to check his status on line. His map marker had him at the 6 mile mark without passing the first time update. I was surprised, but perhaps he was having a bad day and made the decision not to run any further. I'm hoping he is okay and that I'll hear from him soon about what took place.

However, I decided to stay and cheer the rest on . . . having been there myself 5 times, I know how important it is to hear the people on the side giving you words of encouragement. It's the fans that help see you to the finish line. It was awe inspiring to be cheering people on who, despite their great effort, I knew wouldn't "beat the bridge" and therefore not finish officially. These people who were going to be on the course for upwards of SEVEN or EIGHT hours! Those who finish in just over two hours are truly amazing athletes, but those who participate for seven-plus hours and don't even get the benefit of finishing are truly amazing people.

Watching marathons makes me emotional. I think of how I have felt each time I've crossed the finish line: exhausted, relieved, and so happy. I usually cry I'm so overwhelmed.

As I was walking away after watching the last of the last with bus and police escort pass the mile marker, I began to get the excited and nervous feeling deep inside my gut - and a little choked up. Hawaii is just over a month away. Am I ready? Will it go well? Will there be plenty of people, besides my friends, there to get me to the finish? These questions can only be answered on December 11th, but I am hopeful.

And for those of you cheering me on from the mainland, pray my map marker doesn't stop at mile 6!

8 Mile

Ran 8 miles this morning - the coldest morning we've had since March, I'm guessing. Brrr. But it was a good run and I'd rather run in the cold than the oppressive heat.

Not much else to update . . . I've been busy, but it hasn't been very exciting.

I just wanted to let you all know I'm still in the game and running hard.

What's In A Name?

We named Kitty today.

Beatrice Yatima - means "bringer of joy" "orphan".

Beatrice is also a great character from Shakespeare's Much Ado About Nothing and . . . I hesitate to say it . . . my grandmother's name. The Shakespeare element seems appropriate since I work in the theatre as does the new daddy in NYC. It's also works with her new step-siblings: Ariel (The Tempest) and Harald (who they call Prince Hal I believe).

I was given the go ahead by the future parents in NYC since she will be with me for a couple of more months and I didn't want to call her "Kitty" for that length of time.

At least her vet record won't say "stray" anymore!